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You are here: Home / Archives for Bartoneus

They'll Never Understand

July 25, 2006 by Bartoneus

Nearly word-for-word, this is exactly how it happened. To this day I am uncertain as to what I heard in my friend’s voice that day, but I believe it was along the lines of unbridled terror. A primal fear that these feminine robots might actually have been sent back in time to end his life, […]

Filed Under: The Architect DM, Video Games

So Foxy It Hurts

July 14, 2006 by Bartoneus

Sure, he may not have any coils named after him, but he still gets a birthday! That’s right ladies (and guys?) that stellar specimen of sheer ruggedness and “hotter-then-the-f-ing-sun-itself” good looks turns 40 today. Most famous these days for his leading role as the confused, puppy-dog-esque, and “I’m going to tell Locke what he can’t […]

Filed Under: News, Television

Holy crap, it's Neil Gaiman! part 2

June 19, 2006 by Bartoneus

As was mentioned before, a situation such as this is perhaps why it was better that we did not encounter the noble author. Having no real prior template to pull from, I have little doubt in my abilities to say extremely stupid things to very powerful people. Neil Gaiman, being an epic-level Author / Rockstar, […]

Filed Under: Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, The Architect DM

Holy Crap, It's Neil Gaiman!

June 7, 2006 by Bartoneus

Over a week ago, many of us went to Balticon as we tend to do every year. This year was different in many ways, however, not only due to the change in location but also the Guest of Honor. In many of the recent cons the GoH has been, shall I say, obscure. With the […]

Filed Under: Comics, News, The Architect DM

The Complete Package

May 27, 2006 by Bartoneus

Combine stunning good looks, dangerously tight pants, one majorly suave haircut, and control over the best Starfleet ship, and you’ve got the hottest babe magnet this side of the galaxy. What more could you ask for in an individual?

Filed Under: Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television, The Architect DM

The Blackest Stigma

May 17, 2006 by Bartoneus

https://critical-hits.com//wp-content/uploads/2006/05/DnD_thumb.jpg

Filed Under: Board, Card, and Miniature Games, Editorial, Roleplaying Games, The Architect DM

That Magical Time of the Year

May 9, 2006 by Bartoneus

It is around this time every year that all of the news reports from E3 and pre-E3 conferences begin to come out, filling gamers everywhere with euphoria as they wait and pray that their favorite games will actually come out before the same time next year. This year seems to be particularly hot and heavy […]

Filed Under: News, Video Games

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

May 2, 2006 by Bartoneus

Back in 1997 Square released Final Fantasy VII for the original Playstation which was not only the first of the series to be rendered using 3d graphics, but it was also the first to leave the sumptuous womb of Nintendo consoles.  It quickly became many players’ favorite of all Final Fantasies, and as with almost […]

Filed Under: Anime, Movies, Reviews, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre

Here's the Plan

April 25, 2006 by Bartoneus

That’s Plan with a capital ‘P’. In the grand heirarchy of schemes, this is the Pharoah King. Here’s the Plan: You are going to go to this site where you can sign up to win a Nintendo Sweepstakes to be the first consumer to play the Nintendo Revolution at E3. Yes, that means you get […]

Filed Under: News, Video Games

Hilarity Ensues

April 24, 2006 by Bartoneus

This clip is simply too hilarious not to post on here. It’s a commercial for Firefox that is fane-made, which just shows how talented some people are outside of any particular business like marketing. The simplicity and retardedness are what make it really shine, but trust me, if you’ve ever used the internet (if you […]

Filed Under: Web Meme

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About the Author

  • Bartoneus

    Danny works professionally as an architectural designer and serves as managing editor here at CH, which means he shares many of the duties of being an editor but without the fame and recognition. He also writes about RPGs, videogames, movies, and TV. He is married to Sucilaria, and has a personal blog at Incorrect Blitz Input. (Email Danny or follow him on Twitter).

    Email: bartoneus@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//author/Bartoneus/

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