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You are here: Home / Archives for Humor

Review: WotC’s “D&D Gaming Enhancer”

April 1, 2015 by Vanir

“D&D Gaming Enhancer”, as the product is labeled, is a viscous green liquid designed to “make gaming better.” Wizards of the Coast has opted to ship one gallon of the substance to every owner of the Player’s Handbook.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Newest Critical Hits, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: april fools, D&D

Hollywood Halaster’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet And Love Fortress

June 4, 2013 by Vanir

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to play D&D (curse you, real life!), but I have managed to consume many fantastic high-budget entertainment products (featuring stunning pieces of intellectual property) in the meantime. As I write for a gaming blog, this usually leads me to considering the various ways I can (and sometimes do) cause […]

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: displacer beasts, game of thrones, Movies, pacing, plot holes, romance, sex, TV

Interview: Bill “Dungeon Bastard” Cavalier on “The World’s Worst Dungeon Crawl”

May 15, 2013 by Dave

Here at Critical Hits, we’ve been following the advice of Bill Cavalier, Adventure Coach AKA “The Dungeon Bastard” for some time now. At first it was because we mistook him for someone else entirely, but we grew to value his advice on WINNING Dungeons & Dragons after years of treating it as a collaborative activity […]

Filed Under: Featured, Humor, Interviews, Newest Critical Hits, News, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: dungeon bastard, Dungeons and Dragons, gen con, gen con 2013, Kickstarter, lawful badass, TPK, world's worst dungeon crawl

The Top 10 Things That Can Make Convention Games Suck

January 14, 2013 by The Chatty DM

In which Chatty DM presents a whole list of things that can make Convention games be less than ideal experiences.

Filed Under: Editorial, Featured, Humor, Musings of the Chatty DM, Roleplaying Games

Night Of The Gaming Dead

October 30, 2012 by Vanir

There’s been a lot of my mind lately, what with the Presidential election, the Frankenstorm pointed directly at most of Critical Hits’s staff, and the unholy rebirth of Furbys. However, the terror at the center of every sleepless night since I can remember has been this and this alone:

If the zombie apocalypse comes, how will I play D&D?

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: dawn of the dead, halloween, night of the living dead, resident evil, walking dead, Zombie Apocalypse, zombies

Gen Con 2012 FLAIL STYLE

August 28, 2012 by Vanir

In which I relate the things I learned at Gen Con this year, tell some strange stories, and tell you how to get the stinkeye in a hotel lobby OR YOUR MONEY BACK.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Featured, Humor Tagged With: conventions, dice, gen con, Gen Con 2012, obsidian portal, recap, the resistance, Tips

Official Guide To Stalking Vanir At Gen Con, 2012 Edition

August 14, 2012 by Vanir

It’s finally here! The week we let our geek freak meek greek creak bleak boutique. I’M SO EXCITED I’M APHASICALLY RHYMING. Here’s what I’m planning to do this year at Gen Con (more or less). DID I MENTION I WAS EXCITED?

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: games on demand, gen con, Gen Con 2012, indiegamesexplosion, omg, omg gencon, omg omg omg, stalking

Make-A-Geas

August 7, 2012 by Vanir

Next week, thousands of us will be converging on Indianapolis for our favorite consecutive four day period of the year. Sadly, there are countless more of our tribe that won’t be making the trip. Many can’t go because of finances, family obligations, or (like me last year) an unfortunate work schedule. It sucked. This week, I try to bring you hope.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: evil, gen con, Gen Con 2012, gen con indy, internets, make a geas, requests

Pelor’s Florist

May 8, 2012 by Vanir

The natural world is full of wonders. That’s why we eat everything in it, and sometimes it eats us. Occasionally, the gods decide to mess with it a little. Sometimes, this goes really wrong and then you get things like banana fungus, leprosy, Nickelback, and the Twilight series of books. Other times, it’s simple and beautiful, and you never even know it’s there. This is how the donut was born, and also the sweet-smelling Pelorbell flower.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: haw haw, plant, plants vs. zombies, sunflower, Zombie

30 Ranks In Use Trope

May 1, 2012 by Vanir

We’ve all been there. The campaign has slowed to a crawl, morale is low, and players are getting more and more physically violent with every session. Soon, the blood-harvest comes. As a DM, you already know none of this is your fault. However, as the sovereign of your gaming group it is your right, nay, holy duty to return the light of goodness, truth, and the Gygaxian Way to your table. Allow me to assist.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Television Tagged With: animaniacs, cousin oliver, fonzie, happy days, jump the shark, mindy, mork, no seriously pam dawber is unfathomably delicious, pam dawber is so hot, pottsie, potty emergency, scrappy doo, Tropes, tv tropes, tvtropes, wakko warner

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About the Author

  • Vanir

    Vanir is the sort of man who has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become both married and a father. By day, he develops web applications. By night, web applications develop him.

    Email: vanir@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//category/dire-flailings/

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