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You are here: Home / Archives for Newest Critical Hits / Columns

The Architect DM: The Ise Grand Shrine

May 9, 2012 by Bartoneus

I’ve sat through more hours of architectural history classes than seems reasonable for a human being, everything from the crude Dolmen tombs of early Europe to weeks of studying the various gothic cathedrals that all look pretty much the same. I never got the chance to take an asian architecture course, but one of the most memorable asian structures that I learned about was the Ise Grand Shrine.

Filed Under: Featured, Roleplaying Games, The Architect DM Tagged With: advice, architect dm, architecture, D&D, DM, dnd, dungeon mastering, Dungeons and Dragons, inspiration, L5R, Legend of the 5 Rings, roleplaying games

Pelor’s Florist

May 8, 2012 by Vanir

The natural world is full of wonders. That’s why we eat everything in it, and sometimes it eats us. Occasionally, the gods decide to mess with it a little. Sometimes, this goes really wrong and then you get things like banana fungus, leprosy, Nickelback, and the Twilight series of books. Other times, it’s simple and beautiful, and you never even know it’s there. This is how the donut was born, and also the sweet-smelling Pelorbell flower.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: haw haw, plant, plants vs. zombies, sunflower, Zombie

Pain of Publication: Ninja Testing

May 3, 2012 by The Main Event

Having successfully been a Guest GM before and having been inspired by excellent posts on using Marvel to power a fantasy-based system, I decided to try something odd. I sensed my normally tireless DM was getting burned out in Pathfinder, so I offered to take over for a few adventures. The group was pretty positive about a change of pace, but there was a lot of surprise when I said I was going to run the same characters, the same world, in campaign continuity with a different system.

Filed Under: Game Hacks & Content, Pain of Publication, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: fantasy heroic roleplaying, fhrp, marvel heroic roleplaying, mhrp, pathfinder

30 Ranks In Use Trope

May 1, 2012 by Vanir

We’ve all been there. The campaign has slowed to a crawl, morale is low, and players are getting more and more physically violent with every session. Soon, the blood-harvest comes. As a DM, you already know none of this is your fault. However, as the sovereign of your gaming group it is your right, nay, holy duty to return the light of goodness, truth, and the Gygaxian Way to your table. Allow me to assist.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Television Tagged With: animaniacs, cousin oliver, fonzie, happy days, jump the shark, mindy, mork, no seriously pam dawber is unfathomably delicious, pam dawber is so hot, pottsie, potty emergency, scrappy doo, Tropes, tv tropes, tvtropes, wakko warner

Divine Divinity: Dividends Of The Divination Divide

April 25, 2012 by Vanir

D&D’s been around so long that clerics and paladins are a normal part of most fantasy settings. Divine magic in any setting has a great many implications — most of which involve causing players to get into stupid arguments.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: aphrodite, ares, carlton from the fresh prince, catholicism, christianity, deities, deity, divination, divine, eddie van halen, god, gods, hera, jupiter, Mars, venus, wing commander, zealotry, zeus

Group Development Inception

April 17, 2012 by Vanir

“You all meet in a tavern.” We’ve all played in a campaign that started like this. Some DM’s will just ask for names. Other put it as “who are you and why are you here?”, hoping to grease the backstory wheels a bit. This is where you find out who’s really into backstory and roleplaying, who wants to get their axes bloody as soon as possible, who’s just along for the ride, and who wants to pickpocket someone in the first fifteen seconds of the campaign because they rolled a rogue.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: asymptote, clorming, dorming, forming, group development, here's johnny, Norming, padded cell, performing, Player Psychology, psychology, stages of group development, Storming, straitjacket, tuckman, worming

The Easily Lost Explorer’s Guide to Dungeon Crawling

April 13, 2012 by Dave

if we all had perfect spacial thinking and effective communication skills, we wouldn’t need a battle grid in combat. The DM could describe the dimensions and shape of a room in the dungeon, as well as relative positions of inhabitants and features. We could just describe how far we’re going, all adjust our mental pictures appropriately, and voila: the entire time to set up a battle would be the time we need to talk about it. Unfortunately, we don’t all have that. Some of us are terrible at it (me) while others of us are really good at it.

Filed Under: Critical Threats, Editorial, Featured, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: 3e, 4e, battle grid, combat, D&D, D&D next, dave gets lost easily, gridded combat, scenery, spacial reasoning, theater of the mind

One Hundred Monkeys, One Hundred Typewriters, One Hundred Wands Of Magic Missile

April 10, 2012 by Vanir

As some of you are no doubt aware, WotC has once again opened the window for article pitches to Dungeon and Dragon. For the first time in my life, I have decided to submit some stuff. As I have been writing about roleplaying games for nearly 5 years now, and with the recent success in this arena of several of my esteemed blog-tribe fresh in my mind, one might think I would be overconfident. One would be crazy wrong.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Featured, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: bell curve, blogging, Chuck Wendig, courage, Creativity, dragon, dungeon, naked choke, scared, science, statistics, Submission, submitting, Writing

Logan Bonner at NorWesCon 35!

April 5, 2012 by Logan Bonner

Hey, folks. Here’s a quick update to let you know I’ll be a guest at NorWesCon 35 in Seatac, WA this weekend. Here’s my schedule. Friday 11 am in Evergreen 1&2 The Influence of Tabletop Games on Video Games, with Eric Cagle, Dustin J. Gross, and Joshua Howard Friday 6 pm in Evergreen 3&4 Have […]

Filed Under: Minor Quests, Uncategorized

Paragon Wants, Epic Needs

April 3, 2012 by Vanir

Doing work for a client seems on its face a straightforward transaction. The client says what they want, and the professional they’ve hired performs the work. If there’s a snag in the plans, most people will grumble at a plumber, carpenter, or architect — but ultimately it’s hard to argue with “your 6′ bathtub will not fit in a 5′ area” or “do you really want a 6′ square living room?”. In game design, the rules lawyers intervene. And then it just gets ugly.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: clients, clients from hell, D&D next, dnd next, f u pay me, work for hire

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About the Author

  • Bartoneus

    Danny works professionally as an architectural designer and serves as managing editor here at CH, which means he shares many of the duties of being an editor but without the fame and recognition. He also writes about RPGs, videogames, movies, and TV. He is married to Sucilaria, and has a personal blog at Incorrect Blitz Input. (Email Danny or follow him on Twitter).

    Email: bartoneus@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//author/Bartoneus/

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