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You are here: Home / Archives for Newest Critical Hits / Columns / Dire Flailings

Out of the NDA, And Into A Different NDA

May 29, 2012 by Vanir

We can finally talk about our experiences with the D&D Next Friends & Family playtest! I’m going to do that now. All over the place. You might want to get a tarp, maybe change into the clothes you wear to do yardwork. It’s gonna get all Gallagher in here.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: D&D next, dungeons and dragons next, friends and family, playtest, wotc

Hold On Loosely, But Don’t Let Go

May 22, 2012 by Vanir

Have you ever played in a game with a really good DM? The kind where you’re engaged even when you’re not on the edge of your seat, there’s not a lot of bickering at the table over rules, and everybody talks about their adventures years later? I really wanna be that guy. I’m not yet. This quest has caused me a lot of soul-searching over this past year, and I’ve come across a shocking realization…..

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: chris perkins, dm skills, group storytelling, improv, improvisation, roleplaying, steven townshend, triple threat

Do Gamer Dads Dream Of 2:1 Sheep?

May 15, 2012 by Vanir

Being a father to a little baby was cool. He was all cute and snuggly and I loved the first words and the first steps and all that stuff. I remember getting Sam a “Level 0 Gamer” bib and a couple nerdy onesies before he was born. Now he’s 4 and loves lots of geeky stuff. But how long can I keep this up? The hopes, dreams, and fears of a nerdly papa, after the jump.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: bonding, celestial porpoise, dad, father, football, Gamer Dad, Gaming with Kids, geekdad, manly, sam

Pelor’s Florist

May 8, 2012 by Vanir

The natural world is full of wonders. That’s why we eat everything in it, and sometimes it eats us. Occasionally, the gods decide to mess with it a little. Sometimes, this goes really wrong and then you get things like banana fungus, leprosy, Nickelback, and the Twilight series of books. Other times, it’s simple and beautiful, and you never even know it’s there. This is how the donut was born, and also the sweet-smelling Pelorbell flower.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: haw haw, plant, plants vs. zombies, sunflower, Zombie

30 Ranks In Use Trope

May 1, 2012 by Vanir

We’ve all been there. The campaign has slowed to a crawl, morale is low, and players are getting more and more physically violent with every session. Soon, the blood-harvest comes. As a DM, you already know none of this is your fault. However, as the sovereign of your gaming group it is your right, nay, holy duty to return the light of goodness, truth, and the Gygaxian Way to your table. Allow me to assist.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Television Tagged With: animaniacs, cousin oliver, fonzie, happy days, jump the shark, mindy, mork, no seriously pam dawber is unfathomably delicious, pam dawber is so hot, pottsie, potty emergency, scrappy doo, Tropes, tv tropes, tvtropes, wakko warner

Divine Divinity: Dividends Of The Divination Divide

April 25, 2012 by Vanir

D&D’s been around so long that clerics and paladins are a normal part of most fantasy settings. Divine magic in any setting has a great many implications — most of which involve causing players to get into stupid arguments.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: aphrodite, ares, carlton from the fresh prince, catholicism, christianity, deities, deity, divination, divine, eddie van halen, god, gods, hera, jupiter, Mars, venus, wing commander, zealotry, zeus

Group Development Inception

April 17, 2012 by Vanir

“You all meet in a tavern.” We’ve all played in a campaign that started like this. Some DM’s will just ask for names. Other put it as “who are you and why are you here?”, hoping to grease the backstory wheels a bit. This is where you find out who’s really into backstory and roleplaying, who wants to get their axes bloody as soon as possible, who’s just along for the ride, and who wants to pickpocket someone in the first fifteen seconds of the campaign because they rolled a rogue.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: asymptote, clorming, dorming, forming, group development, here's johnny, Norming, padded cell, performing, Player Psychology, psychology, stages of group development, Storming, straitjacket, tuckman, worming

One Hundred Monkeys, One Hundred Typewriters, One Hundred Wands Of Magic Missile

April 10, 2012 by Vanir

As some of you are no doubt aware, WotC has once again opened the window for article pitches to Dungeon and Dragon. For the first time in my life, I have decided to submit some stuff. As I have been writing about roleplaying games for nearly 5 years now, and with the recent success in this arena of several of my esteemed blog-tribe fresh in my mind, one might think I would be overconfident. One would be crazy wrong.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Featured, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: bell curve, blogging, Chuck Wendig, courage, Creativity, dragon, dungeon, naked choke, scared, science, statistics, Submission, submitting, Writing

Paragon Wants, Epic Needs

April 3, 2012 by Vanir

Doing work for a client seems on its face a straightforward transaction. The client says what they want, and the professional they’ve hired performs the work. If there’s a snag in the plans, most people will grumble at a plumber, carpenter, or architect — but ultimately it’s hard to argue with “your 6′ bathtub will not fit in a 5′ area” or “do you really want a 6′ square living room?”. In game design, the rules lawyers intervene. And then it just gets ugly.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: clients, clients from hell, D&D next, dnd next, f u pay me, work for hire

Golden Oldie – A Marvel Heroic Roleplaying Preview

April 1, 2012 by Vanir

Ever wanted to roleplay Peter Parker’s sweet old Aunt May, except she’s been chosen by Galactus to wield the Power Cosmic in his name? OF COURSE YOU DID.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: april fool, april fools, aunt may, brian patterson, cam banks, d20monkey, dave chalker, golden oldie, marvel, Marvel RPG, mws, phillipe antoine menard, shinygold sexypants

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About the Author

  • Vanir

    Vanir is the sort of man who has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become both married and a father. By day, he develops web applications. By night, web applications develop him.

    Email: vanir@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//category/dire-flailings/

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