Hope in the Dark Heart of Evil is Not a Plan

Introduction

Full disclosure: I am not a journaling game fan.

Except.

I blame this story on Dave Chalker, who came home from a game convention and mentioned a journaling game called Hope is Not a Plan by Steve Wright, published by Deus Ex Minima and distributed online by Exalted Funeral. This journaling game is about project managers and projects spiraling out of control to horrific, inescapable conclusions where everyone gets fired and fed to the piranhas.

Part of me wanted to run in fear since projects that spun out of control to horrific, inescapable conclusions litter my professional career. Playing my typical day-to-day as a game didn’t feel like much fun. (I am not a project manager, but I have managed many engineering projects!)

But, I thought, if I made Hope is Not a Plan a Dungeonomics story, maybe something darkly funny would emerge. If there’s anything funny, it’s trying to figure out basic business rules in the broken mechanics world of Dungeons & Dragons.

Thus begins the pained story of Vierna Daliwin, Drow Project Manager at Zaphruil and Associates – Necromantic and Dimensional Engineering. “No body too mutilated! No raise too complex! Call us if you need a single vampire, a wight army, or any undead in between!”

This post is my run in a Hope is Not a Plan game. Hope is Not a Plan requires the following gear:

1. Either a Jenga tower or a way to simulate a Jenga tower to track sanity. This mechanic reflects project stability (i.e., the more stable the building is, the more stable the project). Still, the modification to a Sanity countdown sparks joy and reflects reality better.
2. A deck of regular playing cards with the Jokers removed.
3. A bag of tokens to track project success. I used handy Fate tokens.
4. A d6 die.

I made three modifications to the starting conditions of the game:

1. Move the Ace of Hearts (the “contract is signed start work!” card) close to the top to ensure the project starts since getting killed without the project kicking off does not make for a fun read.
2. Change out the Jenga tower for the 100d6 method – roll 100d6, remove the 1s, repeat. Unfortunately, I don’t have a great place to keep a Jenga tower undisturbed for a long time, but I do have Shadowrun 2nd-edition levels of d6s – i.e., a lot of them.

The game requires an initial “pull” on the tower as a starting condition— I rolled dice and pulled the 1s. My initial roll left me with 88 dice in the Sanity dice pool.

Let’s find out if this trap ever gets built. Hint: it does not.

---

Hope in the Dark Heart of Evil is Not a Plan – Full Playthrough

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 1

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

The project team assembled on the 4th floor of the tomb. We have staffed the team with two necromancers, a conjurer, a summoner, an enchanter, and a transmuter, which should cover all magic and dimensional engineering needs.

Everyone is in good spirits. The site was easy to find, and the team enjoyed the amenities. Would you mind thanking your Lord Dread Master for the gift of tiny chocolates? How does he get them into the shapes of tormented souls?

Although we have not yet signed the contract with your firm, we are confident of signature any day now. As initially discussed in the original correspondence, we intend to commit the team to 6 weeks of work, as per the current customer specifications and requirements from the point of signing.

We have commenced kickoff, initial planning sessions, basic logistics, and plans for generating the manual labor workforce. However, we will not bring on the additional labor or begin construction without the contract since that requires funding.

We plan to hold daily “stand up” meetings and have one-week “sprints” of work. We will report the overall project status once a week when we complete a “sprint.”

We’re excited to get started on your challenging project!

Change Orders: None.

Milestones

• Delivered: 0
• Pending: 10

Risks:

Our only known risk is contract signage to firm up the project requirements and craft the work schedule.

Turn 1 Summary:

I started with 88 Sanity in my dice pool.

Per the instructions, I did not turn over cards on the first turn, so the doom was yet to come.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 2

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Thank you for your hospitality during the extended contract negotiations last week. I have to say, your Dread Lord Master’s native land is fascinating to visit! The odd flesh-rending super lizards! The wandering hungry undead! The angry native residents and their delightful little death gods!

And the food was an educational experience. Remind me, what was in that dish again? The one with the floating fleshy chunks? In case I want to introduce the dish to the family back home in Amenasara Falls.

I appreciate the time you took to sit with Mr. Zaphruil and me to delve deeper and get aligned on the specifications and requirements for your project. I see you and Mr. Zaphruil share chemistry when discussing business requirements – I hope this bodes positively for the overall outcomes of the project.

However, I’m afraid we_still_lack a signed contract. My team is holding at kickoff for now, and the necromancers are getting itchy to start raising. As a reminder: without funding, we cannot begin work.

Risks:

We still do not have a signed contract, so we cannot begin work, putting the overall schedule at risk. The team is becoming restless and getting in a bit of “side necromancy,” which is eating our prepared resources. We will have to take apart these new servitors before getting to actual work.

As an additional risk, we need to begin sourcing materials for this project since some are rare and complex to attain.

Change Orders: None.

Milestones

• Delivered: 0
• Pending: 10

Turn 2 Summary:

I rolled a 2 on the d6 and pulled the 9 of Spades and the Queen of Hearts. The 9 of Spades was a flavor card.

The Queen of Hearts, though, was 100% doom. She put her thumb on all future specification and modification changes to the project, giving the client a bonus and upper hand. She ensured a downward death spiral. I could never complete any project requirements and add new ones to the pile until I lost the game or found a card that made it easier to complete the project.

Forward!

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 3

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

With the contract signed and funds released, I am happy to report we have completed the kickoff and have moved to a full feasibility study of your project.

I see you and Mr. Zaphruil negotiated a few upgrades and additional requirements to the project before you finally signed the contract. I see you made changes.

Initially, we agreed on:

1. 1 Dimensional mirror trap with activation and deactivation keywords
2. 6 Dimensional Cells of indeterminate size that holds beings indefinitely
3. 1 Randomizer Engine (installed in the mirror)
4. 1 Invisible Stalker (in a cell)

The new changes now add:

2. Doubling the # of dimensional cells from 6 to 12
3. 1 large troll (in a cell)
4. 1 adventurer, driven to murderous insanity (in a cell)

The team feels a little nervous about fulfilling these last requirements added to the work, as they’re expansive. But, I’m sure we will rise to the challenge and complete the project in the original 6-week estimate. Zaphruil & Associates has never failed on a project, and you can trust in us.

I also see on page 37 of the newly expanded expectations you penciled in the requirements for a gravity reversal trap in the room with the dimensional mirror. I agree, it_is_fun to watch heroes fight creatures that pop out of the mirror while standing on the ceiling. But Ethelin Noquth, our Magic Team Lead, asks if this choice over-complicates the purity of her original design.

She’s a stickler for elegance and vision.

Risks:

The team is flagging risks around materials and logistics:

• The expansion of 6-dimensional pockets to 12 in trap construction, and the time and/or availability of pocket dimensions;
• The sourcing of the invisible stalker as it is, by definition, invisible;
• The sourcing, trapping, and transportation of a large, angry troll.

We have put in a request for the additional supplies and the troll.

Also, the addition of the gravity reversal trap requires extra expertise and adds in design and construction time. The team says this will require additional time and/or more alcohol. Or both.

We feel the schedule might be at risk.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.

Milestones

• Delivered: Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
• Pending: 11

Turn 2 Summary:

I pulled the King of Spades.

The King of Spades was both a blessing and a curse. The contract was signed (and I added 10 tokens immediately). Still, it meant the company owner over promised the deliverables and made the project impossible to complete without breaking the laws of physics. I also learned 4 Kings == Game Over.

Also, a Change Request — a new customer requirement — was immediately added to the contract card. I placed another token on the contract card and admired the stack of tokens.

I no longer needed the Ace of Hearts. Of course, I pulled it as the next card.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 4

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Good news: we completed the feasibility study, completing another milestone!

Bad news: our Magic Team Lead, Ethelin Noquth, discovered during design that she estimated our original timelines against our original design and not the new requirements settled between yourself and Mr. Zaphruil. Because of this oversight, we are now severely behind in our schedule. If we stick to our current work progress, it will take 12 weeks to complete this project, doubling the time estimates. We will need to make trade-offs in time or quality to hit our milestones.

I also see you and Mr. Zaphruil had another round of negotiations, and he accepted two more changes to the design. These are:

• Ethereal swinging blades that swing from the walls when the mirror is activated.
• Randomly opening and closing pits in the floor, sending an unlucky adversary to a dimensional cell.

We are a little unclear how the pits function with the gravity change. Perhaps you would like the pits on the ceiling? Can you meet with the team and explain your vision to them so they can better understand and we can adjust both the design and the timelines?

Also, I understand that Noquth has been negative about these developments to the project. Again, she is a stickler for the elegance of design and perfection. She is displeased with the cuts we need to make to the project in quality to attain the original schedule and hit all customer requirements. We will need to have internal discussions around how to handle it.

We also suspect she’s a little off. We’re hoping to get her back on track.

Risks:

With the additions to the design and Team Lead Noquth’s missteps at the beginning of the project, we are afraid our schedule is severely at risk. As a result, we will raise more labor and work overtime to meet our goals.

We also have new logistical challenges that will need yet more additional raises of labor. To whit: undead that hangs upside down to dig pits. We are thinking of tiny vampires since they fly and hang from the ceiling, but as a risk: they are difficult to control. Should they escape, they may populate your tomb with themselves. I realize you see no downside.

We are planning to move forward with mirror fabrication regardless of these setbacks.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
• Pending: 13

Turn 3 Summary:
The 5 of Diamonds was as bad as the King of Spades. The lead underestimated the project — add Change Requests, and roll the Sanity Dice Pool. I rolled poorly for the Change Requests (a 0!) and added two more tokens to my contract card. Now I had 13 tokens stacked up on that card. The stack was beginning to list.

Also, my Sanity Dice Pool was reduced from 88 to 75. Already, I could feel sanity slipping away.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 5

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

We’re quite excited your Dread Lord Master shows passion toward this project! His interest is an honor!

However, we were not expecting him to show such passion as to add more to the design. While adding the attacking animated statues to the design is no problem — we have examples to work from — sourcing a Shrine of Chaos and adding it to the trap does have the team a little flummoxed. We’re not clear on why the trap needs further enhancing.

We understand the Dread Lord Master’s word is law, and we will add his requests to the project.

We are happy to report that we have completed our initial designs — if nothing else changes — and feel we can move confidently to dimensional cell fabrication next week.

Risks:

Sourcing and logistics are proving to be quite a pickle. Right now, the team is sharing concerns about sourcing the Shrine of Chaos.

We have put out a request to the Temple to see if the Priestess will craft one for us. Their price will be steep – possibly in coin, but more likely in blood sacrifice. We would like to amend the contract and have you cover the cost for the shrine in local adventurers or living servitors. The Priestesses are clear they need live blood – no undead. I will send out the meeting request.

Also, moving the Shrine of Chaos securely to the 4th floor of the tomb, installing it without breaking it, and without revealing possibly sensitive HR information is proving a logistics challenge. We should also discuss this in the above meeting.

We’ve also become concerned about the state of mind of Team Lead Noquth, who is working hard to develop her alcohol interests into full-blown addiction.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
• Pending: 15

Turn 5 Summary:

I drew the 2 of Clubs. The Dread Lord Master became interested, for a fleeting moment, in the project and added his own flourishes. 2 more Change Requests were requested. I added 2 more tokens to my contract card, bringing the token count to 15.

The Queen of Hearts was killing me quickly.

I also rolled the “Shrine of Law” randomly on a traps table. Touching it does damage to any Chaotic character in the vicinity. Since it reveals character alignments, the Shrine became an HR risk.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 6

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Why am I the one who ends up troll herding in the end? WHY? WHY?!? This is the Third! Project! In a Row! This isn’t any troll — it’s a troll that especially enjoys munching on the undead! We need those undead! They’re busy digging the pit traps on the ceiling! They are not snacks!

Can someone get this troll under control? Please? Before it rampages again?

The troll drooled on my best slacks, I’ve lost a left shoe, and the fireball slightly singled my right shoulder! Can someone please stuff this troll into that dimensional cell? Now?

However, I am glad to report that we have deposited the troll in a working dimensional cell attached to the mirror where it belongs. We have completed the first test of our initial design! The mirror + cells setup worked correctly. Progress!

I’m also glad to report the team is moving from pure fabrication to constructing the trap harness itself.

Risks:

While we are still severely behind schedule and now down several micro-vampires (who seem to be now wandering your halls), we made up time this week with no unforeseen disasters except for the troll (mentioned above). Team Lead Noquth is back on the job and seems plausibly sober.

If we have more smooth weeks of work, we can make serious progress on this project and deliver the quality promised, if not on time.

The Temple Priestesses accepted delivery for the payment for the Shrine of Chaos. We appreciate you agreeing to amend the contract terms to cover the costs of the Shrine to ensure we could meet the budget for this item.

However, we incurred extra costs overruns with delivery when the payment got, ah, feisty. Our hearts and prayers go out to those we lost in the ensuing battle. However, our Logistics subcontractor assured us the battle was “super cool to watch.”

We are working out the logistics of Shrine delivery.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
  • Begin Construction
• Pending: 15

Turn 6 Summary:
The printer broke. Or, in this case, the troll got loose and rampaged through the construction site. My Sanity Dice Pool was reduced from 75 to 60.

I was already 40% less sane on this project than when I began.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 7

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Team Lead Ethelin Noquth resigned today. She said she’d had it with “this damned mirror” and the constant change requests occluding her original pure vision. She especially objected to the extra hours we’ve been putting in to build the gravity pit traps, manage the extra troll, add the extra rooms, and wrangle the blood-soaked Shrine of Chaos. The troll chaos last week must have tipped her over the edge. Or perhaps it was the addition of animated statues to the build?

Regardless, she took a new position with a cult up in the far snowy north, something involving the sun – I wasn’t clear. She was pretty emotional about all this.

I apologize for all the structural damage she caused on the way out. We will, of course, cover the damages to the tomb. Please convey our heartfelt apologies for this outburst to your Dread Lord Master.

We will source a new Team Lead from the Home Office in Amenasara Falls. Meanwhile, we promoted Minyl Aleduis, Team Lead Ethelin Noquth’s backup, to a temporary lead. While not as senior (or talented) a Necromancer as Noquth, he will suffice for now, and work will continue.

Also, we learned the Dwarven wight engineers assigned to the tomb by your staff still have enough presence of mind to take time off for their racial holidays. Did you know this past week was Winterstide? And Winterstide celebration is five days long? Now we know.

The entire crew left us, and we could only make progress on the pure magical side of the construction for the trap.

The Shrine of Chaos and the Invisible Stalker both arrived on-site this week. Thankfully, our Logistics Subcontractors sprayed the Invisible Stalker with sparkle paint, so we could locate it easily. The sparkle paint will wear off in time so the Invisible Stalker will be, well, invisible. We have no concerns there.

Talverin Jusztyn, our Transmuter, has made good progress on those animated statues you requested. Rilma Philond, the Enchanted, finished the glue for mounting the mirror to the wall.

Risks:

The loss of Ethelin Noquth is a major blow to this project. While we still have her designs, an Aledius is a capable Necromancer, we have lost control over almost 50% of our workforce, including the micro-vampires. They are now loose in your tomb. Somewhere.

This job requires a full two Necromancers to control the workforce. This development with Noquth makes it difficult to raise more help from wandering adventurer parties until we source a second Necromancer to add to the team.

We need to discuss the spiraling costs of this project next week. With the loss of a Necromancer and the challenges to our schedule, we are considering sourcing hands from the local population. Even with Rilma Philond’s – our Enchanter’s – ability to charm and control, locals are considerably more expensive than undead assistance. They need feeding, housing, and actual payment.

And, of course, the costs for the structural damage.

We’ve given up on the schedule at this point as polite fiction.

I will put another meeting on your calendar next week to discuss the current risks and challenges.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
  • Begin Construction
• Pending: 15

Turn 7 Summary:
I pulled a King of Diamonds and a 6 of Diamonds. While both cards are technically flavor, one is a King, which moves me one step closer to losing the game.

The King of Diamonds, the Lead quits the project. And the 6 of Diamonds – one of the subcontracted workforces disappears for a week on an unplanned holiday. Winterstide! Who knew?

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 8

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

The Zaphruil and Associations Finance Team has questions about the contract and the cost overruns. We have long blown through the budget for the original contract, and we’re borrowing against the financing of other in-flight projects. Finance is, in a word, upset with us and our current expense reports.

Worse, we are paying for all the extensive damage the team has done to the walls of the tomb. Again, apologies for the extra damage, as the team has been boisterous in expressing their emotions and catching the rampaging troll.

No amount of creative financing can cover these issues.

We will need to renegotiate the contract to complete the project. We are out of both time and funding for this iteration. I will put additional time on your calendar for next week to see if we can defer some of these extra requirements and allow the team to finish the core MVP deliverable. Can we consider an extra amendment for us to fund and complete the added requirements in a “Mirror Trap 2.0” scenario post-delivery?

Hopefully, you’re available to discuss so we can reach quick alignment on the final launch requirements for this project and where we can trim back to complete our milestones.

Risks:

A quick roundup of the risks this project faces. We are currently:

• Down our Team Lead;
• Out of funding;
• Far beyond our original 6 weeks budgeted project timeline;
• Missing half our undead workforce;
• Chasing micro-vampires all over the tomb;
• Unclear where the Invisible Stalker went to (it’s here somewhere);
• Managing an escape artist troll;
• Incurring visits from local adventurers wishing to avenge their friends over the payment for the Shrine of Chaos.

And now, with Mr. Zaphruil demanding mandatory overtime for the team. Morale is at an all-time low. I can say, with clear certainty, this project is at risk.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
  • Begin Construction
• Pending: 15

Turn 8 Summary:
Here I pulled the 8 of Hearts, the Jack of Diamonds, and the 6 of Clubs.

Since the rules allow me to skip cards that do not make sense to the story, I gave the 8 of Hearts a miss. The card about the software not working on a VP’s mobile phone. But it does tell me to roll my Sanity Dice. I now have 50 in the pool, now half as sane as when I started.

The Jack of Diamonds is an audit from the finance department. Roll the Sanity Dice. I’m now down to 41 dice in the pool.

The 6 of Clubs is, thankfully, just flavor.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 9

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

I see your Dread Lord Master found a loophole in the contract. We don’t know how he found it, but he found it. We assume he found it during our “Mirror Trap 2.0” negotiations last week.

Regardless, reference document #72 was not adequately versioned, and he discovered a pencil. We assume he found the pencil on your desk. He added two more change requests to the project – even after we agreed to defer all these change requests to the upgrade:

• Place the Shrine of Chaos into a chest, and trap the chest with a Vampiric Touch spell;
• Add deadly spores to the pit traps on the ceiling so when the pit traps open (empty?), the deadly spores fill the room.

He also rejected the MVP deliverable, “Mirror Trap 2.0” plan. Not only are we already behind schedule, Necromancers and undead, we now need to figure out how to build a chest big enough to hold the damned Shrine of Chaos and go outside to gather spores. As if the locals weren’t already angry enough about us using them as human sacrifices and mind-wiping them to turn them into mindless labor.

You know, these changes will, of course, incur further costs and time overruns. We now estimate an additional full year of work to prepare the trap to your master’s specifications.

All Hail the Dread Lord Master.

Risks:

We have nothing but risks in this project at this point. Maybe we could have finished this with an MVP deliverable? But no more.

All is chaos. All is doom. We pray for the sweet release of death.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps filled with Deadly Spores.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos, in a Chest, trapped with Vampiric Touch.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
  • Begin Construction
• Pending: 17

Turn 9 Summary:
I pulled the King of Hearts. The client finds a document without a reference number and adds a few more random, non-sensical changes to the project for the hell of it.

I am now up to 3 Kings. The job is teetering at a knife’s edge.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 10

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Per your request and after due investigation, we have let Talverin Jusztyn, the Transmuter, go after referring the unfortunate incident with the gargoyle to Zaphruil and Associates HR. She has been removed from the project and the company.

We understand the gargoyles are important to you. We understand the gargoyles are your friends. We also understand that what happened to the gargoyle was inexcusable.

We hope that you will accept our sincere apologies and understand that we will cover any costs to rehabilitate your gargoyle friend, including mental services.

We are, however, alas, down a Transmuter and will need to source a new one from Amenasara Falls. Without a Transmuter, we cannot finish digging the dimensional cells, animating the statues, or building the traps to release spores.

Also, on a personal note, I missed a trip home to see my daughter’s first Temple ritual last weekend due to working overtime settling the gargoyle “issue.” I will be taking some future time off, and we will locate coverage.

Change Orders:

1. Double dimensional rooms + creatures.
2. Gravity reversal trap.
3. Ethereal swinging blades.
4. Teleporting pit traps filled with Deadly Spores.
5. Animated statues.
6. Shrine of Chaos, in a Chest, trapped with Vampiric Touch.

Milestones

• Delivered:
  • Project Kickoff & Contract Signing
  • Feasibility Study
  • Initial Design
  • Begin Construction
• Pending: 17

Turn 10 Summary:
I pulled the 4 of Clubs, where a senior member of the team is let go for inappropriate behavior. No other impact to the project, oddly.

I also pulled the 6 of Spades, where work caused me to miss a child’s event. This, however, did require rolling the Sanity Dice. My sanity fell from 41 to 36. I was spiraling further downward.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 11

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Re: Vorn Zaphruil
Amenasara Falls

Vorn —

How dare you throw me under the bus during contract renegotiations around rolling back the project to Mirror Trap MVP!

What do you mean you promised the Dread Lord Master this trap would be complete in the original estimated six weeks with all the bells and whistles? And now he’s pissed off because we’re late?

What do you mean he’s shocked? They’ve added a dozen major changes to the project! We’ve lost two team members and half our undead! We weren’t exactly a big team to begin with! You’re the one who kept telling the client, “they will find a way!”

Then you dared to blame me for the project’s failure. Me! I didn’t promise a Shrine of Chaos in a locked box protected by Vampiric Touch in a dimension cell powered by a soul-sucking mirror!

I have set clear expectations with the client week over week on progress. I have communicated risks. I have managed our subcontractors. I have managed through a crazy undead Dwarven holiday week.

It’s you who is currying favor with the Dread Lord Master with these crazy promises! Because you think you’ll land the more lucrative jobs on floors 5 and 6! Let me tell you. He’s already given those jobs away to another crew! We saw them carrying in ladders last week!

We’re all at the end of our rope. We’ve put in eight straight weeks of overtime. I’m at the end of my rope. No more.

Own up to this mess you’ve made, or I’m gone.

Turn 11 Summary:
I pulled the 9 of Clubs. My boss goes around telling everyone not to worry about it. Everything will be fine. He then blames me when the team misses milestones — tossed right under the bus. This pull seemed like a fitting ending to this run.

I rolled my Sanity Dice but only lost 3 this time, bringing my sanity to 33. It feels like the fast downward slide has slowed, but the project is still out of control. Hence the outburst.

Zaphruil and Associates: Project Status Report Week 12

Project Manager Name: Vierna Daliwin
Project Name: Dimensional Mirror

Overview:

Vorn –

After week on week on week of overtime, on insanity, and on constant new requirements, I am no longer choosing between my family, my sanity, and this damned mirror project. I quit.

• Vierna

Dear Zaphruil and Associates HR:

Due to the difficulties of the current project, I have decided to resign my position at Zaphruil and Associates, starting immediately.

I have decided to return home to Amenasara Falls to spend time with my husband. I’m leaving the Project Management profession and entering the Temple to learn to care for the little ones. I will be exiting the firm immediately with no notice.

Please see my badge enclosed in this packet.

Good luck with the Dread Lord Master.

• Vierna Daliwin

Turn 12 Summary:
I pulled the King of Spades. It’s the “choose between work and family” card. But because it was the 4th King, the game is automatically over. The protagonist chooses their family and quits this helljob. Probably for the best.

---

End Game Summary

I was a little shocked how fast I “died” playing Hope is Not a Plan. I pulled that Queen of Hearts in the first draw, ensuring the project would get stuck fast in quicksand. Then I drew the four Kings relatively quickly. The whole thing spirals into madness.

It’s a little bleak. But what did one expect from Drow project managers? In the end, though, do the adventurers notice that the trap is over-engineered? Or do they die in it all the same? That is the question.

Would I play a journalling game again? This experience was a little like documenting the first run of a rogue like. The game went into downward spiral and ended pretty abruptly with no way to save myself, so it left me wanting a bit more – or better pacing.

If you’re interesting in solo RPG of games, you can find a bunch on itch.io by searching for “solo rpg” or “journal game.” (Discoverability is a real issues on itch, unfortunately) and on DriveThruRPG.

Editor’s note: A previous version of this article stated that Exalted Funeral was the publisher. Deus Ex Minima is the publisher and Exalted Funeral is the online distributor.