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You are here: Home / Archives for wtf

Improvisational Safety Limits

July 5, 2011 by Vanir

Last week, I decided to simulate the randomness of dreams for my players in our D&D game. I decided to come up with almost everything on the fly to give it that extra little bit of realism. You know, for all the imaginary stuff. Needless to say, what ensued was a nightmare. GET IT?

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: dream, mutation, nightmare, random, wtf

Burlap Sex Alone Does Not A Relationship Make

October 5, 2010 by Vanir

Listen, BioWare. You know you’re the only development studio for me. It was never that your games were the prettiest. They’re nice, but you never made me save vs. pants-change like, say, God Of War 3. It was never that your gameplay is the smoothest or most innovative. Don’t get me wrong, Mass Effect 2 was a nice step up from its predecessor, with its powers and equipment systems all nicely overhauled and refined and that superfun mining minigame. That’s not why every BioWare game is a day one purchase for me. But you’re screwing up the main reason you’re awesome. Quit it.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Video Games Tagged With: age, angry, baby, bioware, dlc, dragon, dragon age, morrigan, nickel and dime, pregnancy, pregnant, ps3, ripoff, value, wtf, xbox

Tales of Horror: D&D for TWEENS

September 7, 2010 by Vanir

Imagine a world in which the D&D you know and love is reimagined and marketed to tweens. Now look at this duck. Now look at me. Look at this double scoop of horror. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Nothing. Now it is fear diamonds.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Music, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television, Web Meme Tagged With: beholder, D&D, Halaster, hannah montana, iCarly, Jonas Brothers, justin bieber, Miranda Cosgrove, nickelodeon, omg, undermountain, wtf

Not Without My Beholder: A Mother’s Tale

August 31, 2010 by Vanir

I’ve spent the majority of my blogging career trying to figure out how to roleplay better. To get them emotionally invested in their characters. To make them feel and act as their character might. To dance into the danger zone where the dancer becomes the dance. I believe I have finally discovered the secret to doing so: The Lifetime Movie Network. All the positive karma the Gen Con Ball & Chain fiasco got me cries out for balance.

ALSO: Video of Roleplaying for the Severely Disturbed with StupidRanger.com from Gen Con!

Filed Under: Board, Card, and Miniature Games, Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television Tagged With: D&D, delta burke, invisible child, lifetime, mistress, pregnant, roleplaying, warforged, wtf

Save vs. Misogyny: An Open Letter To Gen Con’s Event Organizers

April 20, 2010 by Vanir

See that ball and chain? That’s how Gen Con is portraying our wives and girlfriends in their event registration system. Activating rant mode.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Editorial, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: ball and chain, conventions, gen con, gencon 2010, husbands, spouses, wife aggro, wives, wtf

About the Author

  • Vanir

    Vanir is the sort of man who has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become both married and a father. By day, he develops web applications. By night, web applications develop him.

    Email: vanir@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//category/dire-flailings/

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