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You are here: Home / Archives for Humor

Dear Roger Ebert

July 13, 2010 by Vanir

I’ve always admired Roger Ebert. Though I disagree with his assertion that videogames can’t be art, I still deeply respect his opinion. As long as he finds out for sure, that is.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Movies, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television, Video Games Tagged With: agro, art, braid, colossus, ebert, flower, gene siskel, heavy rain, roger ebert, shadow of the colossus, siskel, sotc, videogames

The Virtual “We’re behind you” Card: Chris Sims

June 30, 2010 by The Chatty DM

Chris Sims was recently diagnosed with a Skin Cancer condition which, thankfully, turned out to be minor and treatable by facial surgery. This post is a virtual good wish card and we would really appreciate for you to share a few kind words with us and sign it

Filed Under: Featured, Humor Tagged With: Chris Sims, Jared Von Hindman, Virtual Get Well Card

Lost Words of Power

June 29, 2010 by Vanir

Behold! The lost knowledge of the ages. Words of power! Words randomly pulled from the air and assigned meaning as if by magic!

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre Tagged With: 4e, broccoli, buttons, D&D, dungeons and dragons 4e, kegel, mulligan stew, power word, spell, spiro agnew, wizard

Nine To Five

June 22, 2010 by Vanir

Are you bored with adventure? Get a new career in magical welding in just 7 months! Use your lockpicking skills as a fantasy dental hygienist! Call now!

Filed Under: Board, Card, and Miniature Games, Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre Tagged With: 4e, classes, dolly parton, magic, mundane, roleplaying, science, spells, welding

The Green Menace

June 8, 2010 by Vanir

Fellow gamers, we need to take a stand. We face nothing less than green, leafy Sauron. Instead of fear and eternal darkness, he now uses the power of Moore’s Law and the uncanny ability for the modern gamer to look at a beautiful game from two years ago to say “meh”. He sets us against each other when we play Nerd Poker or when we rules-lawyer, fighting endlessly over minutiae. We are distracted from the real threat. IMPORTANT READING FOR ALL CHILDREN OF MAN.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: ents, evil, green ronin, miller chill lite beer, omg trees, treants, trees

Review: “Dragon Age: Awakening”

June 1, 2010 by Vanir

Though the Archdemon lies defeated, the darkspawn are still loitering all over Amaranthine. Like TEENAGERS. Do you have the courage to remove them from your lawn?

Filed Under: Humor, Reviews, Video Games Tagged With: altered beast, awakening, boobs, borg, borg queen, dlc, dragon age, dragon age origins, dragon age: awakening, grey warden, jonathan frakes ftw, puritans

You’re Not Just Good, You’re Golden

May 18, 2010 by Vanir

For the life of me, I never have fully understood the human compulsion to fill out forms containing their personal data on a computer. If I walked up to a random person on the street with a form asking for their personal data, they’d probably think I was up to something unsavory (like signing them up for a credit card), and tell me to shove off. You put the same person on Facebook, and it wouldn’t surprise me if at least a good portion of their extended profile information is filled in. What benefit does this give anyone but Facebook and their demographic-engine? You know, aside from thoughtfully tailored ads for the user’s pleasure.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: 1995, bbs, connect 14400, fidonet, frontdoor, maximus, modem, renegade

The KFC Double Down – The End of Humanity

May 10, 2010 by Vanir

Do you smell that? Do you enjoy the aroma? The succulent scent of YOUR DOOM? It’s too late now, but the very least you can do is find out what’s coming. The irony: nothing will eat YOU. Quite the contrary, actually. It matters not if you choose grilled or fried. Your fate is sealed.

Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor Tagged With: double down, fatnarok, FKC, jormungandr, oh the humanity, ragnarok

Cleanings of Spring Dawning

May 4, 2010 by Vanir

This past week, my wife and I have been going through the house getting rid of old stuff. She enjoys freeing up space and seeing the house clean. I enjoy looking at my old stuff, reliving all the good times we had together, and almost weeping when I throw any of it away. And that’s not even talking about my boxes of AD&D 1E books from high school. SAVE VS PETRIFICATION.

Filed Under: Board, Card, and Miniature Games, Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games, Video Games Tagged With: ad&d 1e, atari 2600, cleaning, colecovision, dmg, dreamcast, n64, nintendo entertainment system, phb, playstation, ps2, ps3, sega genesis, sega master system, super nintendo, xbox, xbox 360

Lost Badgers and Kid Guards

April 1, 2010 by The Chatty DM

In which Chatty DM comes out of the Full-Spectrum gaming closet and announces great news for Burning Wheel/Mouse Guard fans.

Filed Under: Freelance Writing, Humor, Musings of the Chatty DM, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: Burning Wheel, Freelance Writing, Gaming with Kids, Humor

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About the Author

  • Vanir

    Vanir is the sort of man who has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become both married and a father. By day, he develops web applications. By night, web applications develop him.

    Email: vanir@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//category/dire-flailings/

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