• Critical-Hits Studios
    • Criminals Card Game
    • Sentinel Comics: the Roleplaying Game
  • Downloads & Tools
    • Critical Hits Fantasy Name Generator
    • Drinking D&D 2010
    • Drinking D&D 2011
    • Fiasco Playset: “Alma Monster”
    • MODOK’s 11 for Marvel Heroic Roleplaying
    • Refuge In Audacity RPG
    • Strange New Worlds RPG
  • Guides
    • Gamma World
    • Guide to 4e Accessories
    • Guide to Gaming DVDs
    • Skill Challenges
  • RSS Feed
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

Critical Hits

Everything tabletop gaming since 2005

  • News
  • Reviews
  • Columns
    • Dire Flailings
    • Dungeonomics
    • Musings of the Chatty DM
    • Pain of Publication
    • The Architect DM
  • Podcasts
    • Critical Hits Podcast
    • Dungeon Master Guys Podcast
  • Roleplaying Games
  • Tabletop Games
  • Game Hacks & Content
  • Video Games
You are here: Home / Archives for DarthCthulhu

Federal Breast Investigator

April 21, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

This is both funny and sad at one time. A 76 year old man went door-to-door posing as a doctor and offering freee breast examinations. The man had some cahonies, but what is most jaw-droppingly amazing about this story is that at least two women agreed (and possibly more)!

Filed Under: News

A Mystery of the Universe Revealed!

April 9, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Yes, we finally have a scientific answer to that age-old question, what is the average airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow? The article is actually rather old, having been created in 2003, but it is still an excellent scientific jaunt into the world of avian airspeeds. For those not wanting to read the article, swallows […]

Filed Under: Critical Bits, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television, Web Meme

WoW: Assholes on Parade

April 4, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Imagine, if you will, this: a well known World of Warcraft player dies, so the members of his Guild or whatever log in his character, get together by a beach, and pay their respects to the dearly departed. Now imagine that a rival Guild decides this would be an awesome opportunity to wipe out said […]

Filed Under: Video Games

Prison Camps Not Just for Scientologists Any More!

April 4, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Holy crap, is this documentry on so-called WWASP camps hideously disturbing. The documentary is very well done, though of course it betrays its bias (the evil music during the times when the talking heads of the WWASP speak is particularly amusing). I’m inclined to believe this at face value, however; it’s far, far too similiar […]

Filed Under: Editorial, News

South Dakota and the Idiots It Breeds

March 28, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

A hilarious article that does an excellent job pointing out the flaws and hipocracy of those idiotic Pro Lifers. It comes with an amazing set of links in the article that illustrate it well (especially the whole ‘Pro Life Protesters show up in abortion clinics’ article). Defintely worth a read.

Filed Under: Editorial, News

You've Got Questions, He's Got Ninja Answers

March 11, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Ask a Ninja. You know you want to.

Filed Under: Web Meme

"Bitch, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie!"

March 11, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Check out this wonderful list of “Wifely Expectations” from a guy in Iowa who kidnapped his wife. My personal favorite bits here is the part at the end stating that “this is not a contract”, despite requiring the signature of his wife and the requirement regarding taking naughty photos of “sets no less than five”. […]

Filed Under: Critical Bits, News, Web Meme

Elder Scrolls IV Now Gold!

March 3, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

According to Gamespot, Oblivion has finally gone gold! I think I speak for everyone everywhere (well, everyone who isn’t a ninny) when I say: WOOOO! Of course, we should wait for confirmation from a certain architect who works in the same building as Bethesda Softworks. But still… WOOOHOO!

Filed Under: News, Roleplaying Games, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Video Games

I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!

February 28, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Hysterical.

Filed Under: Comics, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre, Television, YouTube Tuesday

Chamberlin! Stop Your Whining!

February 25, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

After over twenty years, Jim Henson Productions has given the go-ahead to make a sequel to The Dark Crystal. Interestingly, the production will be directed by none other than Genndy Tartakovsky, known for his Cartoon Network work on Dexter’s Laboratory, Samurai Jack, and of course the Star Wars: Clone Wars animated series.

Filed Under: Movies, News, Science Fiction & Fantasy Genre

« Previous Page
Next Page »

About the Author

  • DarthCthulhu

    Powered by dark science and dark magic alike, he is nonetheless afraid of spoons. Josh covers tech news and over the top rants.

    Email: jginsu@gmail.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//author/DarthCthulhu/

Subscribe

RSS Feed

Archives

CC License

All articles and comments posted posted on the site (but not the products for sale) are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. References to trademarks and copywritten material are included for review and commentary use only and are not intended as any kind of challenge.

Recent Comments

  • fogus: The best things and stuff of 2024 on Remembering the Master: An Inelegant Eulogy for Kory Heath
  • Routinely Itemised: RPGs #145 on Review: The Magus
  • The Chatty DM on Review: The Magus
  • Linnaeus on Review: The Magus
  • 13th Age: Indexing Truths — Critical Hits on The Horizon Conspiracy

Contact The Staff

Critical Hits staff can be reached via the contact information on their individual staff pages and in their articles. If you want to reach our senior staff, email staff @ critical-hits.com. We get sent a lot of email, so we can't promise we'll be able to respond to everything.

Recent Posts

  • Remembering the Master: An Inelegant Eulogy for Kory Heath
  • Review: The Magus
  • Hope in the Dark Heart of Evil is Not a Plan
  • Chatty on Games #1: Dorf Romantik
  • The Infinity Current: Adventure 0

Top Posts & Pages

  • Home
  • The 5x5 Method Compendium
  • Dungeons & Dragons "Monster Manual" Preview: The Bulette!
  • Critical Hits Fantasy Name Generator
  • On Mid-Medieval Economics, Murder Hoboing and 100gp
  • "The Eversink Post Office" - An Unofficial Supplement for Swords of the Serpentine
  • Finally a manual for the rest of them!
  • Dave Chalker AKA Dave The Game
  • How to Compare Birds to Fish
  • The Incense War: a Story of Price Discovery, Mayhem, and Lust

Copyright © 2025 · News Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in