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Pelor’s Florist

May 8, 2012 by Vanir

The natural world is full of wonders. That’s why we eat everything in it, and sometimes it eats us. The gods, being gods, take it upon themselves to mess with it when they get bored. This can go really wrong and then you get things like banana fungus, leprosy, Nickelback, and the Twilight series of books. Other times, it’s simple and beautiful, and you never even know it’s there. This is how the donut was born, and also the sweet-smelling Pelorbell flower.

The first Pelorbell flowers came to the Forgotten Realms long before anyone can remember, and only appear often enough that their legend continues. It’s said the flowers weren’t discovered, but rather the answer to a prayer — specifically, one about not being consumed alive by the undead.

By day, Pelorbells appear to be large, bright, white sunflowers. Their smell is sweet, not unlike lilac, and is said to gently calm the hearts of those nearby. By night, the flowers wither noticeably, to the point where it is difficult to tell if they still live. That is, unless they are exposed to light. Then, they bloom even larger than before, and radiate waves of their own silvery light.

No ordinary light is this, for it seems crafted for the express purpose of eradicating the unnatural damned. Those pure of intention who bathe in this light find their wounds healed and steel in their spine. Undead creatures, on the other hand find their rotting flesh burning off into oily smoke and their spines lying on the ground.

It’s unknown if the flowers are the product of powerful magic or if they are the physical manifestation of a god’s will, but their effects are potent indeed. One or two of these flowers planted outside a house shine sufficient light to keep its occupants safe for what would otherwise be a long night of horrors. The thought of yards and fields planted with Pelorbells is enough to give pause to even the most bloodthirsty dead-army-wielding necromancer.

In my D&D game last week, our intrepid adventuring party encountered just such a field (and undead army). And if, like them, you didn’t realize until it was far too late the lengths I will go to to make a Plants vs. Zombies joke….. then Pelor protect you.

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Filed Under: Dire Flailings, Humor, Roleplaying Games Tagged With: haw haw, plant, plants vs. zombies, sunflower, Zombie

Comments

  1. Sporkchop says

    May 8, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I have been trying to figure out how to make a Plants vs. Zombies session work in my game since PvZ came out! Still haven’t worked out the details. The best I’ve come up with is that the heroes come to the aid of a reclusive druid with a pot on his head who gives them magic seed pouches to defend his home from undead. The pouches quick-sprout plant-based creatures. Problem is, I a: can’t decide if its important to have the zombies move only in rows. b: can’t figure out how to have lots of plants and zombies fighting without slowing combat to a crawl or lurch.

  2. Ian says

    May 8, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    So, this is fantastic. Plants vs Zombies should be an important part of any D&D campaign.

  3. Jeremy Morgan says

    May 8, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Two things:

    1. I can usually tell a Vanir article in my RSS feed just by the title, and this one was no exception.

    2. I actually really like this idea (over and above the Plants vs. Zombies joke).

  4. Jan says

    May 9, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Awesome! Simply and purely a totally awesome idea! Since my characters might very well face some quite challenging undead threat (in fact the undead have sent them running already once), I might find a use for this flower.

  5. Sporkchop says

    June 7, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Okay, I put together a Plants vs. Zombies encounter for my 3.5 game and ran it last night. I have a summary of how it worked up over at ROFLInitiative.

    http://www.roflinitiative.com/2012/06/plants-vs-zombies-d.html

About the Author

  • Vanir

    Vanir is the sort of man who has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become both married and a father. By day, he develops web applications. By night, web applications develop him.

    Email: vanir@critical-hits.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//category/dire-flailings/

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