Remembering Gygax Through Friendship

One year ago, shortly after posting about GM’s Day, I saw the news that shocked and saddened me: Gary Gygax had left us. Being the geeks that we are, we made all kinds of metaphors. (Gone to travel the outer planes is probably my favorite). Tributes began to roll in, not just from us RPG bloggers, but from all sectors who had their lives touched by D&D. Most were respectful, some were not. Some took it as their chance to grind their axe against D&D while people were grieving. Some took it as a chance to make cheap pot-shots about virginity (despite a fair amount of evidence that gamers aren’t as bad as all that). Fortunately, most of us came together, regardless of our feelings on game system or edition of choice. When you’ve got NPR and Stephen Colbert sending their best wishes, you know it is a Big Deal. 

But instead of dwelling on that occasion for too long, I hope you’ll indulge me for a moment. I’d like to take this opportunity to talk about my friends.

While digging through my stuff in preparation for a move, I discovered an artifact from my elementary school days. It’s a page designed like a “character select” screen in a video game (specifically, a Neo Geo arcade game whose name I don’t recall), listing such classes as archer, barbarian, ninja, and so on. Listed there with  a (very, very) crude illustration is my name, and my friend The O, and the classes we chose to play for whatever game during recess. That was over 20 years ago. We’re still playing D&D together.

The O introduced me to Bartoneus. Our first game together, he touched the River Styx and lost all his memories (which was appropriate since he hadn’t really made a character yet). Later, a giant Iron Golem stepped on his character. I think he’s forgiven me, though, since his next character was Barton from whom he takes his current alias. Today, we run this site together… and I hope I haven’t stirred unpleasant memories (so to speak!) since I’m close to leveling in the game he runs.

The gaming club that we all belonged to introduced me to even more lifelong friends. Practically every person who has written for the site regularly I met through gaming, and definitely solidified our friendships through gaming. I’ve watched them go through marriages, break-ups, moves, new jobs, and everything else life has to offer. (Or maybe it’s more appropriate to call it the “leveling up” process?)

My first two years in college were miserable. I had moved away from all my friends, I was having huge relationship issues that were impacting my schoolwork, and my finances were in the tubes. Yet in that second year, I managed to find a group of gamers who were completely accepting of a complete stranger coming into their homes every week to play a game together. Later that year, I would find other gamers on campus, help re-instate the gaming club, join a regular Friday D&D game, and run a regular Saturday Call of Cthulhu game. I don’t stay in contact with any of the many roommates I had during those years or any of my classmates, but I stay in contact with most of the people in that D&D game, and try to see them at least once a year. (I also still wistfully think about the days that I was in no less than 4 regular RPGs at the same time).

At GenCon, I met ChattyDM, Stupid Ranger, Dante, Vanir, and Yax (and others via the panels and such) for the first time in person after swapping emails and exchanging cross-blog traffic. As soon as the dice were rolled, it was like we had been through many campaigns together already. 

The bottom line is, had it not been for D&D, it’s hard to imagine that I would have met all these great people and have them as my dear friends. 

How many groups of friends can talk about the beasts they’ve slain and the worlds they’ve saved together? How many friends have said “OK, you need to tumble into the dragon’s threat range, then cast Harm, and he and I will be ready with the killing blows when that happens, and she will be ready with spells in case everything goes to hell?” I’m proud to be in the company of people who have my back (and a ressurection ritual and some diamond dust) when facing death.

For that, on this day, I give Gary my heartfelt thanks.