There’s been a ‘nostalgic’ revival of anti-D&D material on several blogs lately (Sorry if I don’t link, I don’t have the time right now).
I saw the movie Mazes and Monsters about 20 years ago and like all 15 year old teenager geeks, I scoffed at the plot and snickered at all the ways the screenplay got RPGs wrong.
However I did take the movie’s core idea seriously.
You see, even at 15, I was well aware of humanity’s propensity to become obsessed with things.
The focus of the obsession is unimportant, be it religion, sex (and jealousy), hatred, guns, video games, RPGs or Heavy Metal music. It’s clear to me that a subset of humanity has a trait that makes them latch sociopathically to something and allow it to occupy too large a place it their subjective realities.
Aside: That’s why I have no respect for the Thomson, Chick and other fearmongers of this world… the activity is not to blame, the mental disease of the ‘fan’ is.
One of the reasons why I learned that lesson so young was because, at 13, I gamed with Fred.
Fred was a shy, somewhat tormented teenager. Slight of build and prone to being abused by bullies, he was however a very bright and creative individual. We became friends rapidly and I started playing AD&D every weekend with him.
To say that Fred took to RPGs is the mother of all understatements. He ate, drank and breathed RPGs. He thrived on the social interaction of the gaming group we created out of the neighborhood nerds and dorks.
I clearly remember, while we were playing one on one through Expedition to the Barrier Peak that Fred was getting over the board with his character (I don’t remember what he was playing, probably a Magic-User). He kept freaking out about finding all those laser guns and grenades, and he was talking about the game whenever we were together at school.
I recall his grades falling, and him asking me to play on every afternoon of the week.
I couldn’t comply, because my mother was actively monitoring the impact of my hobby on my grades as I was allowed to play as long as my grades remained good.
I started to become worried about Fred.
Being armed with almost no social tools at the time (I was a chatty socially inept somewhat arrogant lad…. hey no jokes about things not changing!) I resorted to the only way I thought could address this:
I killed Fred’s character. I don’t recall how, but it was probably a Save or Die or something. Something very sudden and very final.
Fred went into shock. He probably stopped talking to me for some time. But when we talked again, I told him that this was just a game, not worth obsessing especially on something as irrelevant as a character…
I was ready to start a new game with him, along with a group of friends, provided he relaxed a bit about his character and that we did other activities once in a while.
It worked out all right. He became a musician, got girlfriends and probably got laid before I did.
All good.
What about you? Were you exposed to RPG players who crossed the line (or nearly did)? Did you lose it (or nearly did)? How did you react and/or how did you address this?
Have a great weekend!
Excellent post.
I had quite a few friends who crossed over to the ‘dark side’ as it were. At the age of 14 or 15 our roleplaying (mostly Cyberpunk 2020 and Shadowrun rather than AD&D) revolved pretty heavily around getting stoned; luckily I grew out of that stage pretty quickly, but as far as I know some of the old gang are still doing the same thing – living with their parents, smoking pot and playing rpgs. Except at the age of 27 or 28. Worrying stuff.
I think there’s a propensity with men in particular to obsess over a hobby to the point that it takes over your life. You can see it with rabid sports fans, or keen anglers, or those guys who go crazy over home improvements and DIY… The same impulse drives those who get too far into RPGs. The difference I suppose is that most hobbies are regarded as charming eccentricities while role playing is seen as highly deviant – a step away from Satan worship in some people’s eyes!
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I haven’t known people who took it quite that far thankfully, but I do know a guy to whom role playing is one of the few hobbies he has. He’s pretty socially inept and doesn’t realize it…he thinks other people are the problem.
Needless to say, I don’t game with him anymore.
Tomcat1066s last blog post..TV Shows That Would Make Awesome RPGs
I’m very, very glad I came into RPGing without a similar story. My parents and friends were very supportive of the hobby, as were the friends & family of the guys I gamed with.
My one brush with intolerance was when I played Magic: The Gathering with a few friends in junior high school. At the time (and for a variety of reasons), I attended a private religious school where parents sent their kids for a “right proper Christian” education. I was too damn creative for that place, and so was my friend Nate. His mom forbade him to play Magic, but he still accumulated a small collection that he kept in his lunchbox so she wouldn’t find it. I still remember when I stopped by his house and watched as his mom discovered his hidden loot. I never understood the meaning of the word “crestfallen” until that moment. Nate’s crest fell, hard. I moved away and lost touch with him soon after that.
PatrickWRs last blog post..Days gone by…in-game, that is
This sort of comment might not be the norm for this thread, but to be honest, I’m that sort of guy.
Whenever I get into anything, I get into it hard. I played DOOM, as a kid, for literally hours every day. I obsessed over finding every secret and monster. Sitting here, now, years later, I can run through the first episode in my head, sights and sounds present, without thinking hard.
Dwarf Fortress, D&D, World of Darkness, Deus Ex, Half-Life, whatever. Diablo was a bad one. WoW never held me, but it certainly could have been a problem.
I suppose it’s just an addictive personality. It’s been a toned down effect as I age; and I rarely get as crazy these days, but still I remember how it was.
To be honest, the way Chatty shocked the kid out of it might be the best way. I wonder if I could get shocked out of my internet addiction.
Davids last blog post..4e General First Impressions
Well, I’ve met a lot of people through RPGs, so it’s hardly surprising that one or two weren’t all totally cool people at the time. One stands out thanks to the threats against me, some other players, and talk of self harm, along with the stalking, and the taking a few weeks to get the hint that we were serious when we kicked him out of the group; including more overtly physical threats.
I gather he got (lots more) professional help later, and may not be the troublesome gent I once knew, but by that time I was just glad to see the back of him.
Ahh, back in the day when I played in a Vampire LARP, we had a message board. Inevitably, the players would become embroiled in conflicts OOC with each other as their characters tangled IC. One of the MANY reasons I no longer LARP…
In one particular instance, a friend of mine’s character makes fun of another character’s post in terms of grammar and spelling and the player of this other character with poor spelling blows up and begins making real life personal threats to my friend.
The irrate player was an EX-Marine (I say ex because he had been discharged under other than honorable conditions), thought he was general bad @$$, and had promised to inflict injury upon my friend (who was a minor at the time).
Well needless to say the guy was confronted early before the next game and he never returned.
I don’t know if this story really fits under this post as it is just story about an asshole and not some gamer unable to distinguish reality from fantasy, but for anyone who has LARPed, that genre tends to have a higher concentration of both these individuals (assholes & nutcases), at least in my experience.
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Thanks for your stories…
I don’t have rigid guidelines for comment posts… just write whatever comes to mind when you’re done reading mine.
All’s good, I like learning stuff from you all.
Fortunately my first DM was murderous and cruel. It kept me from becoming attached to my character. 😀
I’m Christian, but I am disheartened by well-meaning people who point at the symptoms and not the cause -who don’t bother to look any deeper than first glance.
A good thing: I live in the heart of the Bible belt, and most people aren’t freaking about D&D. I happily explain my geek hobby, and sometimes dispel any rumors of cults, devil worshiping, and suicide pacts. The best thing I can do is live a good witness that a perfectly normal Christian can play D&D and not loose it.
I’m kinda like David, albeit not to the same extent. The subjects have been dinosaurs, pulp literature, fantasy books, various computer games (StarCraft, Heroes of might and magic 3, ADOM, Warlords Battlecry 1-3, notably), roleplaying, logic, mathematics, StumbleUpon and blogging.
Roleplaying and mathematics are persistent ones.
The art of choosing one’s addictions is underappreciated one.
Tommis last blog post..Of dungeons and crawling therein
I’m no stranger to addictions myself, I think it’s part of being a nerd/geek. Controlling them has been a challenge all my life.
It’s life damaging RPG-related ones that worried me… plus I must be wary for it to appear in my children.
Nico has a a thing for Video Games. He will grind a Lego-game non stop and unlock 90% of it in 3 days. Heck He completed Indiana Jones without my help and he’s 6!
That’s why I’m getting him into Storytelling, at least we’re working on his social skills.
Yeah, I think a lot of us are kind of addiction-prone personalities. But everyone needs their vices.
It comes down to balance. Treated incorrectly, it’s as self-destructive as any other vice. Fortunately, that’s more the exception than the rule.
Ninetails last blog post..Murder Most Foul: The Deed Itself
Oh, man, the obsession. My senior year of high school I spent six months talking about Batman. Constantly. Now, this was partly because I was working on an hour long presentation about him, but everyone else doing that project picked topics like fashion or Okinawa. Not Batman.
Of course, that presentation was awesome. It was an unusual topic, and an interesting topic, and I was enthusiastic about it and people were honestly interested. Most of the hour ended up being question time, because people were honestly interested.
Same thing with RPGs. My first campaign was marred by my obsessive devotion to it, which completely destroyed my second campaign. I must have driven the rest of my group crazy. But if I wasn’t a little deranged about RPGs, I wouldn’t blog about them, and wouldn’t have discovered so many great online resources for them. Goes both ways.
Oddyseys last blog post..It’s Not All About "Unified Mechanics"
Same deal with my eldest and games. He could grind Lego Star Wars all day if he was allowed.
I think it’s a combination of things that lead to someone going overboard. I’ve done it throughout my life in small doses. Reading books (fantasy, sci fi) was something I delved into from word dot. All the time. Mum got so worried about how many Doctor Who stories I was reading that it was banned for a little bit. Didn’t do me any harm.
We were never allowed to spend hours at the computer or tv. My folks weren’t super strict, but they obviously realised the importance of interaction (there were four kids) and most of our childhood was spent playing outside together, or fighting together :).
Of course, there are other factors beyond the boundaries set down (or not) by parents. Personalities. Disorders. Friends.
Thanks Chatty for another cool post that sparks great thoughts and conversation!
@Mike: Go go Christian geekdom! I’m Catholic and am totally cool with all things nerdy. (Hey, I even know an altar server who I’d recruit as a player if I ever get around to DMing.) My parents aren’t the most appreciative, but they’re the superstitious sort anyway and it’s not like they think I’m going to hell or anything, they just think I’m slightly off kilter and that’s probably true.
@Tommi: We have too much in common, between the math, ADoM, and D&D. (I’m writing a setting loosely based off the Drakalor Chain right now, in fact.) My issue is I have so many hobby I can’t attach myself to one long enough to be addicted.
@Oddysey – I did that once, but with Star Trek. In an all-girls liberal arts school. Yeah, about that…
I think at some point everyone is obsessed with a character in RPGing. Even my husband, who vehemently claims to hate playing, was obsessed with one character because that particular one could kill just about anything. He wasn’t so into it that it was all he did or talked about but 15 years later himself if that game is brought up, that character is named as the baddest mother that there was in the game by him.
Dianes last blog post..Middle English Vocabulary Education September 22-26
It can become hard, when you invest so much time and creative energies playing someone else, to prevent our addiction-prone brains/souls from trying to latch on that construct and give it more importance than it warrants.
Hmmm, as always, your comments have been very thoughtful and informative.
Now it’s 5h30 am and I’ll go focus on my own current obsession…
🙂
I also grew up in the “Bible Belt” and found an very stifling attitude towards RPG’s to be the norm. What is interesting to me is how I had to explain to concerned adults how I was preventing the inevitable destruction of my soul through various completely made up safeguards.
“Oh that only happens to people who play evil characters, we don’t allow that in my game”
“Oh that only happens to people who play and do drugs. We don’t do drugs so it will be fine”
For a time I thought there really were people going off the deep end and LARPing with disastrous/deadly results. It was a long time before I realized if that actually happened it would be all over the news. People want D&D to mess people up, so if it happened they would report it.
More on topic, I had some female friends who wanted to find a real vampire coven to join and accept the dark gift. I was/am pretty sure they were serious. They didn’t seem to believe me when I said that vampire covens are groups of really weird guys who are into drugs and having their way with gullible girls. Don’t know if they snapped out of that before or after they found one.
Posting in the past, but…
One friend of mine (let’s call him Martin) had a similar problem; he played D&D with us while we were all going through the phase at 16-18 when it temporarily dominated life. All of us, after that phase, moved out of town and went to college. We’re a very tight group of friends and Martin eventually ended up living in the same house as I did, going to the same college, together with one other guy who always played with us.
When living in the same house, as friends, you notice each other’s quirks. Martin had been in college for like 4 years prior to him moving in with us, and never passed a subject, and over time, I noticed the only thing he did was play some lame MMO, while we were all going to college, passing milestones, falling down and getting up again.
Me and my other friend were very concerned about Martin and we have had numberous nights out in the city (Martin rarely came along) where we discussed how we should “help” him. This endless philosophizing (or whatever the english word is) eventually came to the point where we consulted other people. Their opinions varied from: “disconnect him from the internet” to “why the hell do you care?”.
We eventually (even after group discussions with all out friends who knew him) decided that perhaps it’s not our place to tell Martin that he needs to go to college, get a job, or otherwise get his act together. All we really need, is that Martin is happy, and if he’s happy living in a substitute reality of MMO’s, then that should be his choice. The only point we ever made to Martin, was that we, as friends, don’t care if he goes to college or gets all ambitious and tries to land a CEO-job, like some of us were trying, we would accept him for who he is. The reason we said this, was because he somehow must have felt that we were worried about him, and actually started lying about going to college and finding a job to us; I think he felt pressure or something.
Anyways, we still play, I still see Martin (though we no longer live in the same house), sometimes on a normal social thingy, but mostly when we play games. He kinda flunked out of college (though he’s not willing to state this openly yet), but did get a job, and he has huge debts for sitting on his ass for 6 years. He still plays his lame MMO hours on end.
Don’t get me wrong, I like this guy, he’s still a great friend, will be a great friend for years to come, and really as close to the universal concept of “good” as anyone can get, but sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing. Maybe I should’ve risked the friendship and kicked his ass to get going. Would he be happier now if I had done that? Would I even have had the guts to do that? I dunno, guess I failed my knowledge (what the hell to do) check on that one.
Kinda long, but thanks for reading.
Internet addiction is one serious, serious problem.
And knowing if you should intervene in a friend’s life is an age old question. I think you were collectively wise to not confront him, seeing how much he tried to hide is failings.
Pity… at least he was a good friend.