Review: “Piratz Tavern” in Silver Spring, MD

Yesterday, for mother’s day, my mom had only one request for the traditional dinner: she wanted to go to the Piratz Tavern, a pirate-themed restaurant in downtown Silver Spring.

Scratch that, she had two requests: she wanted her family to dress as ninjas and go there.

The compromise was made that we would wear all-black, and not the obstructing face-masks of traditional ninja gear.

I had called for reservations, and was disappointed that they didn’t answer the phone in any particular piratey way. They also assured me that I would not need reservations, even on Mother’s Day. That turned out to be true, as the majority of our meal was spent being the only customers there.

We were seated by the hostess in full “busty wench” garb. Our waiter, who said he was called “Fast Fingers”, was also in full pirate garb, and spoke with an accent that was like a cross between Captain Sparrow’s and an Irishman. As he was asking us what brought us there, my mother declared “I wanted to come here and dress like a ninja.” Without hesitation, he drew a knife from his belt and plunged it into the table, declaring “You’ve come to the wrong place, then!” It was hilarious, and the ninja part gave him plenty of jokes for the remainder of the meal.

The menu was quite varied. The first page contained a number of mixed drinks that I would have loved to dive into, were it not 2:30 on a Sunday and if I didn’t have to drive. The menu contained a fair amount of Americana cuisine, but with flavorful names and extra touches. My brother- a very picky eater- ended up ordering a fruit plate called the “Scurvy Buster”, to which our waiter replied “I didn’t know ninjas even got scurvy. You learn something new every day.”

In addition to some of the standard fare, the restaurant offered a decent selection of pasta, seafood, and fairly exotic vegetarian dishes. (The vegan corn soup made with coconut milk was excellent.) We shared a chocolate mousse/cake dessert that was excellent, so apparently pirates can also make good desserts too.

The decor consisted of various pirate-style objects attached to the walls, with some pirate flags on the ceiling. Next time, I might walk around a bit more and read all the interesting objects they have on the walls. The only odd part about the ambiance, other than being able to see Silver Spring out the door, was the Bob Marley music that was playing the entire time. Though one of the songs did mention pirates, it was a bit odd. I suppose listening to sea shanties the entire time wouldn’t go over well.

Service was a bit slow at times, and it took a while to get a fresh cup of coffee, but that could be blamed on it being a day where they weren’t expecting much activity. Overall, I’d really like to go back there more often. Rarely do you go to a restaurant where the waiter is very entertaining and quick on his feet (and with his fingers, apparently), while at the same time being served a quality and interesting meal. (And even though we were dressed as Ninjas, I think I’d prefer a Pirate Tavern to a Ninja Restaurant!) If I get my way, I’ll return with a big group before going to see Indiana Jones to make the evening one of Pirates & Pulp.

For more information, check out the Piratz Tavern website, but be warned that it’s all in Flash and has sound effects the entire time.