Sooooo, a few days ago Vanir puts up a post about what his Epic Level Heavy-Metal Bard called Bat Loaf did when he was riding the Tarrasque with his pals.
My brain broke down somewhere down the line but now that my memory matrix has been reconstructed, it seems that Bat Loaf got his metal S.O. into attempting to procreate on top of said tame Tarrasque.
Sex….on a Tarrasque…
Freud would have a field day! 😛
One of the inescapable social realities of having a bunch of geeks playing make-believe around a table is that sooner or later, one way or another, the subject of Sex is going to come up (pun intended).
I broached this in an older post here. I’d like to explore it some more.
In younger (and often not so young), exclusively male groups, the subject will often be broached as crude jokes, homo-erotic double-entendre or description of character actions that would be, at the very least, severely frowned upon by someone’s Grandma.
I’m also told it happens in mixed groups too. I’d love to hear about it more.
In other, probably more established groups, the subject will be broached in an hilarious ways (as Vanir describes) or actively explored by story tellers and psychodramatists.
While we have had more than our shares of out-of game jokes and leery comments throughout the years, our group started tackling sexual in-game issues in a less adolescent way in recent years.
At first, it was nothing particularly mature, like spending loot on Ale & Whores and ‘scoring’ in the Tavern. Yan’s CN fighter thief Drake had an occasional fling with a recurring Red-haired mercenary chick, but that was about it. Oh yeah I remeber Eric’s character marrying a Nymph priestess too
Later it got, more ‘interesting’. I don’t know if was the gritty Sword and Steel, no alignment world of Iron Heroes, but players started developing deeper (snicker) backstories and weirder backgrounds.
Math developed a relationship with a low-power Succubus (i.e. she was supposed to not have her level drain powers) and while the actual action was, thankfully, off screen, his Supercoolness player trait was rewarded when he could high five the rest of the group whenever he scored with that epitome of Demonic lust.
Aside: It so happens that the Succubus leveled up during the relationship. However, since each characters reformed with partial amnesia after death on their prison world, Math only learned at the end of the campaign arc (i.e. the Prison break) that his character had in fact been drained to death in bed numerous times (still super cool if you ask me).
Eric, our butt-kicking psychodramatist went all out and actually created an adolescent male gay warrior. That challenge proved too much for us as a group and we never explored this farther than in/out-game comments. But it also never degenerated nor was Eric’s character ostracized by the rest of the party for it.
Heck, two players played female characters.
Franky’s Cixi trademark is that she’s Chaste and Pure and never gets down to that level. However, off camera and with people on whom she can exercise some influence, she’s a complete slut. All other character know it… but she justs ignores them when the subject is brought up… (tee hee!).
Even our then lurker Stef, created a psycho-B17c# that was all leather and spikes…
Hmm, yeah… I’m not so sure I should have written all that….
This current game is tamer, mostly because players have not yet formed clear ties (mostly my fault because the game has not been very story focused).
Of course I can’t hope that PCs will fall in love or such things, I mean we’re still a bunch of 30/40 something guys sitting around that table. I’m happy that we at least explored this aspect of RPGs and we came back with nothing broken.
I don’t want to thread again about when the line gets crossed in regards to sexual subjects both in-game and around the table (see my original post linked before, especially the examples ).
I’m more curious as to how such a subject is approached by various gaming group both in game and around the table.
Having never really played with women in my RPG groups (teenaged girlfriends excepted ) I’m especially interested about how the dynamic changes in groups with players of both gender present.
Feel free to share… if you dare 🙂
With regard to the stuff you linked to, I game with 2 other guys, and even though one or more of us on occasion roll female characters, things like inter-PC sex and non-consensual stuff are verboten, in a way for the same reason that we never rp the actual mechanics of bedding npcs, namely, because there are some things you just don’t want to roleplay because they take you too far outside people’s comfort zones. Call it the “ick” factor.
That’s not to say there’s no sex in our games. In our current one, one of the players is trying to land a priestess of Mystra (so he can convert her to Shar, but still…). They haven’t “done anything” yet, but I’m sure they will eventually, and I as the DM will handle it like every DM I’ve ever gamed with has: awkwardly and without making eye contact.
Truth be told, in my experience in-game sexual relationships are like familiars: they’re more of a liability for the player than a benefit, they only contribute the occasional comic relief (and an opportunity to monopolize the DM’s time), and they add surprisingly little to the fluff of the game.
I guess I could be convinced otherwise, but I just haven’t seen the issue handled effectively in a game environment.
Dungeon Grrrl has a pretty comprehensive campaign journal on Paizo’s boards:
Link
She is running a pretty intense game with a large group of mature players. Beyond the super-adult situations encountered, they seem to run an amazingly energetic (and well described) action-oriented swashbuckling campaign which is solidly dominated (tee-hee) by the Rule of Cool.
It might be a bit of a read, in which case you might post there, on on her LJ (same name) her thoughts.
Ha, I was just linking my friend articles about the small dueling swords which replaced rapiers in Europe, so that’s where that link went.
Actual Link I Meant to Post
We’ve only attempted to seriously roleplay a romantic encounter between a PC and an NPC once to my recollection, and we got about 30 seconds into it when everybody all agreed that this was Really Uncomfortable so we Shouldn’t Do It Anymore. These days, if Bat Loaf wants to have sex, we just roll a Perform check. 🙂
When I played D&D as a teenager, I too tried to find ways that my character could hook up with the sexier female-looking monsters. I even remember constructing a quest for my paladin to go down into the Nine Hells to convince Glasya, the Princess of Hell, to become good and go back to the Prime Material Plane with him to make little paladin babies (or die trying).
I also seem to remember making a magical item such that men could use to not be blinded by the power of nymphs so that they could, as they say, “frolic” with them. As I recall, I dubbed this wondrous item the “anti-nymph-burn” pendant.
I think it’s safe to say at this point that nerds have some rather entertaining views on sexuality. I still consider it a miracle that I ever successfully got married. 🙂
BTW, nice bloodninja reference! I almost missed it. 🙂
As a tip, it’s a lot easier to handle if done in the third person. First person is creepy, third person is just describing.
There is no hope for anything like this in the campaigns i play. I rolled a black gunslinger when we had a white supremacist character already with no comment by anyone.
Not big on the roll playing unfortunately, which is a shame because it is my favorite part.
hey you need Blue Magic
http://www.myrealms.net/members/darkfire/blue.html
The Art of Nymphomancy.
Many of the spells are perfect for that 30 going on 14 gamer.
Oh my! Actually those are funny!
Thanks for the find!
PM more or less dared me to start a post with the Bash.org reference, telling me I’d get huge reactions. I then decided to make the whole post about sex in RPGs starting with my games.
I’m happy to see it’s about the same all over so far.
I hope to hear more… not because I’m a pervert but to see if some storytellers/Method actors will chime in… must be a French thing 🙂
We’ve touched on this at various times during my 25 or so years playing. Never much came up until playing in college, though. It was almost always a small part of the plot and never lasted long.
Except one campaign in college where my character put the moves on another character. We actually played that out a bit on the side while other characters were doing whatever. Just something to keep occupied (mostly) out of play. Our characters ended up married, and our children were center to the plot of the next campaign. IRL, the other player, one of TWO women in the group, was going out with another member of the group and he got a bit uncomfortable. I think he thought I was after the player, not the character. Of course, just because he was paranoid doesn’t mean I wasn’t trying to go out with her.
But it is harder to play sexual and relationship stuff if you aren’t actually connected with (or want to be connected with) the other player, in my experience. Just something strange about a bunch of 30-something guys playing all coy and batting their eyes at each other. Suspension of disbelief just can’t handle the strain 🙂
It’s much easier to pull off online, when you can say the innuendo straight-faced for laughs without feeling awkward. However, we still fade to black just before things physical; as a wise man once said, “It’s what happens before & after that’s important.”
Romances are a good way to establish connections, change a PC’s personality, or let them change an NPC’s attitude. And, given that love is blind, RP romances can lead to all sorts of interesting pairings. (“Yeah, that kobold & minotaur were made for each other. Don’t ask me how they do it, though.”)
And when I say romance, I do not mean one-night stands. One-night stands are inferior in every way, including sex jokes; they’re much more funnier when you interrupt an Important NPC doing it, rather than some Nameless Tavern Wench.
Do you want to hear awkward?
My Dad was playing a late teen Cultist of Ecstasy in my Mage: The Ascension game. A real club goer, with some shape-shifting and kink… (shudder).
Actually, it was pretty endurable, but I did fade to black early in the encounters.
Speaking personally I find I need to be very comfortable in the gaming group – basically to be gaming with friends and with another female in the group – before I’m actually comfortable broaching character sexuality. Even when I did it was more suggested than anything – my character was very….friendly let’s just say….and it was mostly handled with an aside and potentially a die roll. There were a couple of scenes that were handled more in depth – one with the DM’s character (which did actually advance the story!) and one that was just so OTT it had to be done (another PC, main baths of the city where all the hotties hang out, about 6 hours in-game time….you get the idea) – but both were still pretty PG in general, and didn’t take up too much actual time. Which is about the level I’m comfortable with and didn’t seem to make the other players uncomfortable either.
I can’t really comment on an all-male group, but I have noticed that when it’s a mostly-male group sex-related jokes in particular seem to be just part of the atmosphere. Maybe it’s a bonding thing? We had a few times where we were introducing someone new into the group and as everyone became more comfortable together over the sessions there were more joke, innuendo, and general ‘off to find a whore in town’ moments. Only from the guys though – they were never well-received from me 🙂 (silence at the table, no one’s eyes meet, wandering monster comes along to save the situation)
In most of the more evenly mixed groups (about half the players female) there was certainly our fair share of cheap adolescent crude jokes and innuendo – but in all cases where we had that we were all friends before we started gaming together. All the women I know need to feel comfortable with the people around them before the crude stuff starts….
I fear this is a little rambly….basically I suspect it comes down to: it depends on your group. If people (players and DM) feel comfortable enough with each other to develop their characters in that direction it may happen. It may take quite a while though to develop that kind of trust – a few games together, a bunch of crude jokes, and a whole lot of riding the town bicycle – or it just may never gel for the group. After all, even in a game love is a scary thing and rejection can hurt 🙂
Wow, this has truly been a truly fascinating set of comments.
While we all seem to share the crude joke stage (even in mixed groups I see, thanks for the insights Sandrinnad)…
Some people have played relationship, included sex, for story-driven purposes.
Oh and Scott, you’re the 1st person I heard that played with his parents… and I would have ‘died’ had it been like that….my father humored me once when I was 10 and we were playing one on one.
Chatty makes a note to tackle a transgenerational post soon
Great comments, and a warm welcome to 1st time (or long time no see) commenters.
you’re welcome 🙂 and thanks!
heh – sorry I failed my save vs. cheesy ending though 😉
That’s quite all right… actually I could totally picture a group of teenagers where one had a crush on another…
Char #1 makes overture, player #2 rejects forcefully (finally seeing where Player #1 was driving at)…
Player #1’s heart breaks…
I so don’t miss my teenage years. Theses things are never easy… even if I was a popular geek!
‘I so don’t miss my teenage years.’
oh no kidding, eh? I’m actually glad I had a gaming hiatus during most of them 🙂
Having had a rather openminded group of players and various GM’s we have had some rather intresting situations coming up. (I might mention that we are running a non d20 system where aging tends to be a major killer). We have run several generation spanning campaigns and as such romance and indeed even breeding seems to take a bit more of a frontseet. (One of our characters, a mage, decided that it was his holy duty to spread the gift of magic to as many children as possible, going so far as to invest time, experience and work into creating spells for easing childbirth and special care for pregnant females. The magus in question was later slain by a mob of angry husbands when he returned to his home-town after two years absence and several of the husbands had come home in the meantime to find dark-curled, blue eyed children with a axe-like nose. )
Other memorable situations has been a lesbian barbarian in a campaign and her quest to gain the affections and love of her chosen (and quit homophobic) companion.
And while it DOES take some work, it is fully possible to get 40+ males to play convincing romance. *grins* Usually it only takes a 30+ beautiful female as a GM.
LOL! Great story!
Indeed such a DM would fire the severely repressed romantic gene of a group of 40+ guys…
Having played almost exclusively in mixed-gender groups, I’ve seen two sides of this coin.
Side A is chill, and handled in a general ‘this is understood to be happening’ style.
Side B is much more intense, and usually descends into real-world drama.
Nothing worse than an angry boyfriend wanting to know why his lady’s professing real world interest in you… so yeah.
It *can* be an engaging and cool dynamic, so long as it’s handled with tact. Think of captain Kirk – how much alien booty was he tapping? We don’t need to ‘see’ it to know and understand what happened – having a scene where the character’s putting their boots back on as the rogue fixes her hair provides all the requisite flavor without degrading into anything awkward or disturbing.
My rule is always: when in doubt, Fade To Black.