There is quite an interesting discussion going on over the Okay…your Turn RPG forums (a very classy, mostly D&D/Iron Heroes/Arcana Evolved/ Ptolus gaming forum) about the Dungeon Masters having become the Dungeon Servants.
This discussion brought me additional insights about a subject that has been brewing in my mind for some time now. You see, my 2 gaming groups (my D&D campaign and Franky’s McWoD) are made up of a total of 7 guys in their 30s (and one in his 40s). While we don’t all have kids (4 out of 7 have kids, all minors) we all have typical busy lives with jobs, houses and spouses. We have precious few free hours to spend and on our non-family hobbies.
A DM who runs a game for adult gamers needs to realize that his friends are investing these precious few hours in his game. They are therefore entitled to expect a significant Return on this time Investment.
I’m not saying the same does not apply for teenage players, but when I was 15, my free time was not worth all that much and I could afford to have a really sucky streak in my games and still expect to have players show up from session to session.
In the 70’s DMs were rare and the hobby had no real competition (social geek pastimes were focused on wargames, model trains, Star Trek and hacking phones). DMs could afford to apply what Gary Gygax said in the 1st Edition of the DMG about zapping troublesome players with lightning, destroying their bling and saying ‘No’ to players asking to play non-standard races. Even really bad DMs had backlogs of players wanting to join.
Now, in the 21st Century, DMs are still quite rare, but they have far more competition for those geek-hours: MMORPGs, Console games, Blogs, Cleverly-written TV shows, etc. A DM has to take this new reality into account when the fun level of his campaign is less then stellar. If not, well players start having ‘other things to do’ on game days.
What I’m driving at is that I see a lot (and I mean a lot) of DMs complaining (bitching even) about their players on the net. Just have a look at the What’s a DM to do discussion thread on the Wizards forums, or any DM thread on RPG forums.
I think that a lot of complaining comes from DMs in Storming groups but that’s another discussion. The thing is, if you are dealing with adult gamers and unless you are dealing with hopelessly selfish ones, I strongly believe that what they collectively want in a game trumps what you want in a game.
You have to shape your campaign and possibly grow outside your natural DMing style to accommodate the players’ needs and expectations. Their free time is just worth too much to ignored or be downplayed as being ‘Not the correct way to play’.
That being said, the perfect solution is to compromise. If they want a Hack and Slash campaign and you want court intrigue, have them hunt down and kill the Ninja Squads that have infiltrated the king’s dungeons. If they dislike Railroading but don’t actually want to provide you with written backgrounds to help you shape stories, offer to build it with them by discussing it by email or face to face.
Bottom line, in this day and age where our friends have limited time and consent in sharing it with us, our efforts as DMs is to focus on fun for everyone. My personal list to achieve this (and just so you don’t think I’m being too preachy about this, I don’t succeed at every session) is:
- Keeping a fast pace throughout the session.
- Finding ways to say ‘Yes’ instead of ‘No’.
- Morphing adventures to my player’s tastes.
- Listen to the players and be on the lookout for non-verbal signals.
So am I full of it or do you agree? Either way, what do you do about this or what should be done?
Wow. I dont think I can agree to all of that. Maybe a little to a certain extent.
People who run games have always been in competition with something for a players time. Reguardless of ages, or situation. If people are more interested in watching tv, or playing WOW. They’re not interested in playing the game anyways. So your better off without them.
I got a good example. I had a guy when I ran a game up at the comic shop. He would say he wanted to play. But then not show up. Because something come up. Worse of all he didnt let us know. Even though he still would stop up there ealier in the day. Saying he was going to. So we would wait for him and would waste time. Then when he did show up. He was only half there. IM’ing people. Or just not paying attention. I got tired of it. I put him to the curb.
The point of my rambling is that either the player wants to be there,or not. If not that indiviual is poison. You are better off to get rid of them. If someone really wants to be there they will make the time.
Now I do agree that you must cater to a certain degree to players. I you want to run a victorian steampunk game, and the players want to play Robotech. That will be a problem. If folks do show up. They probably wont be giving there best.
I do agree you have to adjust you style of GM to the players. Everybodies different, and is looking for different things. Some may be there for the role playing, some are there to kill creatures and take there stuff. So you gotta adjust accordingly.
The game should be fun for everyone. It should cater to players. But I’m not in competition with say, WOW. Because if the player is torn between WOW and the campaign. How much do they really want to play my game?
I’d like to offer a minor corollary to this post.
While you do need to adjust your GMing style to suit your players’ interests, you also need to be careful not to adjust it too far outside of your own interests.
If your players want fast-paced high-action sci-fi space opera, and you dislike fast games, action games, and sci-fi games, then you won’t be having fun DMing for them. If taken too far, you may start resenting your players for the game you’re running. And that’s also bad for the group.
I learned this hard this year. My players asked for certain things in this game, and I agreed. There didn’t seem to be a problem. But I eventually began to resent the game, and partially blame the players for it, and I couldn’t figure out why.
After taking a break and looking back at things, I see now that some of the things I needed to do to satisfy what the players wanted were far out of my normal comfort zone. This was beginning to make prep a chore, and I needed to move back towards where I was comfortable.
This wasn’t a “if you don’t do this, I’m not going to play any more” situation, bit the example still fits.
A DM’s job is to get all the players to have fun. And that includes himself.
And Ronin, a player being torn between WoW (or whatever) and playing your game doesn’t necesarily mean he isn’t interested in playing the game. It can just mean that he isn’t interested in playing that specific game. By realising this, and finding out just what that player does want in a game, you could gain/retain a great player with a minor change to the game.
I am a gamer in his Mid-30’s and my gaming group ranges from the youngest guy at 31 to the oldest at 42.
Before we all got married, we played a lot. But now, our time is much more restricted, and we play 4 hours on Sunday nights.
I agree with all of your post. I used to be the GM, who always expected my players to snap to, and to accommodate me, far more than I accommodated them.
But in the past few years, I have grown thankful of my players, and the fact that they are willing to take time out of their busy schedules to play in my game. For that, I have worked hard to cater a bit more to my players than in the past.
For instance, I use to make the players do a session recap at the beginning of our session. Then I would rail on them for not taking good notes, or being able to remember what happened. Today, I write the recap for them, so that they are caught up and ready to play.
Adult Players do require a different approach, than younger gamers. Time is more precious, and if you are not having fun, there is something else that you should be doing. So as a GM, my goal is now to make my sessions a fun escape for my players. For that, all I ask for, is that for 4 hours they are in the game, and that they help each other have a good time.
Great article!
Thanks everyone for commenting so far.
Ronin: I agree with your counterpoints. I was referring, although maybe not all that clearly, to players that want to play your game.
Once they made the commitment to show and participate, as a DM we must make efforts to meet their definition of fun at least often enough to make it worth their while… but I think we both agree on that.
As for whishy-washy, passive aggressive players… yeah we’re often better without ’em.
Ve4: Agreed completely… that’s why I was talking about compromise between DM and players. Otherwise it’s a recipe for DM burnout as you so well describe it.
It’s just that we never seem to discuss what we want collectively when starting a new campaign. We trust the DM to divine our needs and expectations and too often the DM assumes that his idea of a great campaing will be echoed by all the other players.
DNAPhil: I’m sooo jealous of your Nickname… It’s both my name and my job! But you had it way before I became a DNA nerd.
Thanks for the comment and kind words. Your situation mirror’s mine almost perfectly! (Hmmm maybe you are that clone they lost in the early 70’s)
I’m 50, and have been playing since college (with a decade break about a decade ago).
Our group has a 50 year old (me), a 44 year old and his 20 year old (son), a 43 year old (GM), and a 41 year old. Our current GM has made it difficult for us. He doesn’t prepare, and constantly is looking for critters to throw at us, wasting some of our valuable play time for (as we put it) “Game Loading.” In addition, we’ve now got TWO NPC’s the GM is running with us, both of which can give us a deus ex machina at any time (and have!). Also, he’s had to fudge some die rolls to prevent a TPK because he has no concept of what our band can handle: he’s put four 12-level characters against a 20th level critter! And then not only had to fudge die rolls, but brought in an NPC to defeat the bad guy and save us. The players are supposed to be the central heroes in our drama, not the NPC’s!
I’ve GM’d before, and, as soon as this story arc is done, they’ve agreed I’ll GM again. In the past I’ve GM’d scenarios right out of Dungeon magazine, or a purchased scenario. Or, in my other group where I’m currently GM’ing, I’ve used an Adventure Path (the one I’m using is from Dungeon magazine).
I’ve decided to use the new Pathfnider from Paizo just for the reasons stated. Most of our group only gets together for three hours per week that we have to carve out of a busy schedule/family life. There’s no time for the game to stop for ten minutes while the GM figures out what to do next. The Adventure path/Scenario form lets the GM give the players full value for their time. It also allows for a more balanced campaign.
I feel for you Izzy!!!! And I just may borrow your example for this week’s post on DM tropes.
Pathfinder’s is a great choice! It’s rich in flavour and satisfying in the crunch department. It’s also very customizable.
I don’t know if you’ve read my recap of the 1st session we did with it, we liked it…
See here: http://chattydm.net/?p=110
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
The best DMs/GMs are teachers, they have to deal with minor rebellions, tantrums, stroppy people, people who don’t know what they are expected to do every damn day. Much the same applies to a DM and his group. Teachers usually have a good imagination and education as well. I should know I’M a teacher…
I was a high school Science teacher for 2 years and I soooo understand where you’re coming from.
I agree that good teachers make great DMs… much like great managers also make great DMs.
It’s the human side of it.
The Empathy, the emotional intelligence… all these things found in our best teachers, coaches and leaders.
So, I’d say not necessarily the best DMs (‘cuz there are baaaad teachers out there), but best teachers = superstar DMs.
Hi
Being a Dm myself i wanted to add that i like your web site however i feel that you are wrong on this topic.
My thoughts are that as a dm i put myself out massively to provide for my players. In terms of time before a game in preperation and in the game itself. I strongly belief i have the right to be a little selfish. It is very easy to try and do everything nessesary to accomodate the players just to keep them happy i ask what about me. My enjoyment is equally important if not more so. Trust me my players have stayed with me for some twenty five years i must be doing something right. I am a bloody difficult dm when it comes to surviving one of my games. I strongly belief its why people keep turning up. I have had complaints from from time to time from new starters however even they grow to become excellent gamers or they leave. I have never had a problem attracting new players in fact many will wait for a long time to join.
Anyway keep up the good work
Regards Sean
Hey Sean thanks for taking the time to comment.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on some issues and if you’re cool with that, so am I.
I do sense that you do take care of your players… and those who join you, know what they get into. You seem to be a grittier DM than I am. And that’s way cool with me!
If your players have fun and so do you, there is no problem.
But I’ve seen DMs be completely hermetic to their player’s feelings or sense of fun. They just drive-on thinking everything is all right.
That’s a recipe to disaster… and with adult players, I believe it’s a sure way of crashing a game.
But when I mean fun for all… the DM should be included… that could have been said clearer in my post.
Peace out man and thanks for dropping by.
Perhaps the single most difficult thing in running a gaming group these days (heck, trying to organise ANY sort of meeting) is sorting out the time and place to play. Once you have that, you’re cruising.
I’m still a new GM, but I am willing to work with the players in what they want to play and try to adjust the story to what i am willing to deliver. We have agreed to do Star Wars, but if any of the players want to do a different system then I reckon it could be the end.
.-= Katana Geldar´s last blog ..Did I Just Gain Some Xp? =-.
Getting a bunch of adults together at the same time does indeed require a lot of effort. This is particularly the case when you are setting up a new gaming group and the relative importance of the game is low in the priorities of the players.
It gets easier if and when the game becomes a common project.
About changing systems, why would it end your group? Because it was so hard to get started?