Image Source: The Epic Barbarian, Wizards of the Coast.
Having finished the series on the 4-stages of team development in terms of an RPG gaming group, I’m now tackling a new one: Joining the concept of Emotional Intelligence to successful DMing.
Think about the best DM you’ve ever played with, or if you’ve never had one, think about the best teacher or coach you ever had. Chances are, they were good not so much because they really knew their respective subject matter (although it helped), but because they were able to get to you on a deeper level than the others. By the way they talked to you, but mostly by the way they listened, you got them and they got you.
A few years ago, while I was learning the ropes of managing a small team of pharmaceutical professionals, I attended a management course where the teacher went on and on about the concept of Emotional Intelligence.
The concept was rather vague and my scientific background balked a bit at such a squishy (fluffy?) construct. Nevertheless, my curiosity was sparked because that concept was all about the type of people I described two paragraphs ago.
I later read the book the teacher was referring to. It was written by a psychologist-turned-journalist named Daniel Goleman. I finally got a better glimpse at what it was all about, and it has guided a lot of my social activities, including DMing, since.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be defined as:
The ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.
Another way of going at it is saying that EI is about being skilled at:
- Perceiving Emotions
- Using Emotions
- Understanding Emotions
- Managing Emotions
All RPGs have a rational and an emotional part to them. The rules, including combat, character generation and progression (the Crunch) is all about the rational. The motivation to engage in role-playing and storytelling, the frustrations and satisfaction of dealing with challenges and obstacles are all part of the emotional factors of such games. I’m willing to bet that it’s the emotions that make us remember a great gaming session.
The biggest difference between EI and other forms of intelligence (if you believe that there are many) is that you can get better at it, that it’s a way of thinking and a set of skills that can be learned. This is good news for DMs looking to improve.
The concept is relatively recent and is rather contested as a scientific field. I have no intentions of backing it as a Science in these posts. However, it has brought me a lot of insights in how people think and react and I’d like to share how this can help make a better DM.
In the next 4 parts, I’ll tackle the 4 aspects of the definition of EI and how they can be applied to DMing. I hope you’ll find it interesting.
What is it that the best DMs have in common? Have the 1st stab!
Oooh! I know! The best DMs are just the coolest people!
Just kidding.
That emotional intelligence concept… Is it something that can be consciously worked on to get better at it?
Lol it is Monday Morning huh Yax:
“The biggest difference between EI and other forms of intelligence (…snip…) is that you can get better at it, (…snip…) This is good news for DMs looking to improve.”
So to answer your question, the answer is a big YES.
In each of the next 4 parts I’ll try to give examples on how to improve…. If I could just find my darn book again!
This might have been a bit heavy for a Monday morning, Drink coffee and read again! 🙂
I came across EI a couple of times at work too and I can imagine how it could/should apply to GMing.
A GM with good EI might notice very quickly when his players are stuck in an encounter (example: endless grappling madness) and will find a workaround to the situation soon enough to save the session not keep on within the preset structure just because it is there.
I used that (fictional) example because I know that it is something you want to improve in your sessions.
Aside: But by bringing up that topic, didn’t you just concede victory to Fluff over Crunch?
I swear to all the gods of the D&D Pantheon PM that your character will die a most painful death when you do start playing D&D!!!! 🙂
But (sigh) as ill chosen as your example might have been, that’s exactly right…
As for the fluff vs crunch ‘debate’, let’s not blur the lines more than they need to be.
Emotions are not only about fluff, although fluff exists to paint a world and trigger emotional responses…
A critical hit, one of the the crunchiest elements of a game, often triggers powerful emotions.
Well that example serves two purposes. First, it relates a real world case that’s already been discussed here, so most readers have something to work with.
Two, it satisfies my newfound delight in poking little sharp things at you. 🙂
I wonder however about that critical hit comment as it relates to EI. When rolling that critical hit, is it the actual dice result that initiates the uproar, or the expectation of a cool description from the GM.
By knowing and understanding what affects your players, the GM will describe a fight that bards will sing about for generations.
The only way to touch the imagination is to go through emotion. Good IE will make the difference between a clever solution and an awesome one. The first gets respect and appreciation from the intellect while the second strikes a chord from the emotional core.
but you know, I never played this game, so what do I know….
:p
(PM is a friend of our gang that joins us for boardgames and Magic the Gathering nights every so often… While he hasn’t played tabletop RPGs yet, I sense a strong interest on his part… And he’s seems to have a knack at poking sharp things at poor little old me…)
Hmmm, it seems I may have chosen the wrong Nemesis… 🙂
I agree with all your points especially the Clever vs Awesome one… and that more or less announces the pre-destined death of my Crunch Overlord persona…
However, when you do roll that d20 to confirm a critical hit, you’ll feel the 1st twinges of emotions way before your DM starts explaining how you splattered the dungeon walls with the brains of your defeated opponent…
Crap. I can’t read. I had 3 coffees now. Thanks for answering the question anyway.