This week in the news it was released that several photos published by Reuters from a Lebanese photographer were pulled from circulation because they discovered the photos had been editted to depict darker, more dreary images of the destruction happening there and to make certain combat images appear more dramatic. You can find the specifics of the stories in the Washington Post article, and you can see the actual images in question here.
Clearly this comes as a shock to everyone that what they are seeing of the conflict overseas may not be entirely, 100 percent accurate. It makes one feel that photographers and news organizations are only out for their own benefit and have no qualms with decieving the masses on an everday basis! The horror!
We here at Critical Hits strive to provide you with not only the most up-to-date news, gossip, and humongous lizard gods from other dimensions, we also have a very intricate process all of our news goes through to verify beyond the shadow of a doubt the authenticity of what is reported. First we write our reports on a napkin and fold it thrice, then we feed it to a pair of Journalistic Guinea Pigs!
These Guinea Pigs are known for their editting/digestive prowess, and quickly (4~35 hours) output the report in a newly created article format. After a brief drying period, the article is then exposed to the rays of the seven moons of Jupiter, where it gains its beefy smell, and often overcooks to the point of calcification (no, seriously!). This is the point in the process where the articles are hung outside, and every so often a surly and inebriated pterodactyl swoops in and snatches the pre-pubecent writing and glides off, our work dangling in its taloney grasp. That pterodactyl’s name is Psammy-T, and he’s in charge of delivering these articles to our publishers for special treatment. This process takes place just about every Wednesday, and the articles that Psammy-T chooses are called Random Encounters.
Typically somewhere along the way a comic is added, but the gem of the process is that everything which comes out of it is verified as being completely and utterly accurate. Below you will find a series of images from overseas, and we can tell you with complete confidence that these images have not been editted in any way, these are true depictions of the state of affairs in our world.
This plane was shot down by an enemy RPG.
(Stick with me here, they get better!)
Next you will see conclusive evidence that there are, in fact, WMD’s in Iraq. This photo evidence will once and for all put the speculation and conspiracies to an end.
Weapons of Massive Dinosaur.
The giant lizard can be seen basking in the destruction he has clearly caused.
You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Things have not been all quiet on the homefront either, unfortunately. Most likely due to rampaging, golf-club weilding dinosaurs in Iraq, or because of recent bombings, United States airlines have refused to allow any liquids onto planes. This is a huge inconvenience to passengers as they encounter various difficulties in dealing with the situation, as you can see below.
Some passengers are having an easier time dealing with the delays then others.
Your journalistic guinea pigs took over GATO. They’re huge!
That Gelatinous Cube and Kirby are probably best off with the restrictions… they can always eat the other passengers on the plane. “Inflight meal, sir?”
My reaction when I looked at this for more than 10 seconds was…
“Is that…AQUAMAN????”
Aquaman is the most screwed there by the airport restrictions. He dehydrates easily ya know.
Plus there’s usually not many fish for him to talk to on a plane. But you know what would happen if he and the villian Copperhead happened to be on the same plane…
ALL YOUR SNAKES. SNAKES. SNAKES.
ALL YOUR SNAKES. ARE BELONG TO US.
I didn’t even see Kirby the first time. Or the blue guy, or Aquaman. They really blended in.