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"Bitch, get in the kitchen and bake me a pie!"

March 11, 2006 by DarthCthulhu

Check out this wonderful list of “Wifely Expectations” from a guy in Iowa who kidnapped his wife.

My personal favorite bits here is the part at the end stating that “this is not a contract”, despite requiring the signature of his wife and the requirement regarding taking naughty photos of “sets no less than five”. There’s even a 20 picture quota for the month!

Hilarity. And you just KNOW someone’s going to read this and think it’s a great idea. I can’t wait until there are court cases involving sex contracts.

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Filed Under: Critical Bits, News, Web Meme

Comments

  1. The Game says

    March 11, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    What a sick asshole…

    But his typography is excellent. Good font choices.

  2. drscotto says

    March 13, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    I think it is a great idea! I mean, he totally got this all wrong, but the idea of having a woman sign a contract seems novel to me. Why hasn’t this been done before?

    First, let’s get rid of all the sex b.s. because that’s sick, perverted, disgusting, hot, what have you….

    Next, let’s change it so the penalities are things like cooking, taking the HUSBAND out to dinner, etc. and the perks are receiving these things from the husband.

    Finally, write the contract in a way that makes all the pet peeves of the one you love (or the one you are with) be considered a breech. If they breech the contract, you get stuff. If they do NOT breech the contract, you’ll no longer have any annoying qualities to endure. Wala.

    Brilliant.

    Well…. or…. not. 🙂

About the Author

  • DarthCthulhu

    Powered by dark science and dark magic alike, he is nonetheless afraid of spoons. Josh covers tech news and over the top rants.

    Email: jginsu@gmail.comWeb: https://critical-hits.com//author/DarthCthulhu/

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