Close on the heels of such classics as Super Mario Bros. the movie, Mortal Kombat, and Tomb Raider are the next generation of Video game movie adaptations. It has always been a shady business, that of bringing gamers’ favorite characters and playthings to the live action film screen, but is Hollywood getting better at it?
Yes, I have lured you into this article with the false hopes of a fantastical movie detailing the exploits of our beloved King of All Cosmos and his young prince whom “rolls his balls around and collects things to make them bigger.” Never fear, though, there is real news in here somewhere!
With reportedly accurate news that Peter “Not related to Samuel” Jackson is all gung-ho to produce a movie based on the largely over-rated yet still very good game called Halo, there comes a gleaming ray of delicious hope that the future of videogame movies as a whole will be taken much more seriously. Yet at this moment people like Uwe Boll seek to lay claim to this increasing source of income and in return only limit themselves and the franchises as a result. Mr. Boll, in no way a household recognized name, directed the movie House of the Dead, and apparently from here decried himself master of all videogame movies and has clamored to have his name attached to many forthcoming adventures. As critics are currently tearing his latest engagement, Bloodrayne, a figurative ‘new one’, he is already working on movies based on the games Far Cry and Postal. I’ll say that again, Postal. Yea, you can start bleeding out of every pore now. For those of you who do not know anything about this game and I’m quite sure there are many of you, it is based on the simple premise of a postal worker who goes insane and decides to kill people with everyday items and kick their heads around as entertainment. Sounds like movie-gold to me!
In more recent news, I can only be slightly relieved that Doug Lombardi dismissed reports of Quinten Tarantino wanting to direct a movie based on the fantastic franchise of Half-Life. Unfortunately, however, Lombardi also dismissed a Half-Life movie altogether stating that they have not begun planning it and do not see one in the near future. This is not a complete disappointment, though, as you can simply play through the games and gain an experience thirty times more entertaining then a 3 hour long movie.
Last but not least, apparently there is a Silent Hill movie which is coming out just shy of 4 months from now, which already has a trailer and hopefully promises to be so terrifying that you will crap your intestines all over the theater floor. Take a look at the trailer. With the ravening horde of comic book and videogame movies that has already started to rape and pillage the average movie-goer, how will Hollywood survive when everyone’s spare time goes toward playing videogames and reading comics so that they can be on top of the next craze and complain their asses off about how bad the new angel looks or why the heck Sting wasn’t cast as the John Constantine he was used as the basis for. To this I say: Have you seen the original Dune movie?
But Sting WAS an excellent actor in the Simpsons episode he was in.
Katamari Damancy the Movie STARRING:
Alec Baldwin as The Prince
The Entire Baldwin Family and anyone ever married to one as The Cousins
Christopher Lee as The King of All Cosmos
Courtney Love as Some Debris
Kristie Alley as The Katamari
While I have never succumbed to the Halo craze myself, all I can say is that the movie will only be complete if it involves Christopher Walken in a major role and with ALOT of cowbell.
I completely agree with you about a Half-Life movie. There is no possible way for Hollywood to make a movie better than the gaming experience, only bring it down.
Lastly, I am a Silent Hill superfreak and that was the first time I’ve watched the trailer for the movie. It appears to be quite solid and the fact that it appears to have a small cast supports the possibility of less pathetic acting by unecessary grade F actors.
hey, just fyi. ultimateshowdown.org was made by two members of somethingawful, and they actually wrote the song and sang it. not some obscure band from who knows when… heh.
Despite the comment having nothing to do with the topic in which it was posted:
The Ultimate Showdown animation credits someone akin to “Lemon Demon” for the music, which I assume is a band of some sort in the sense as they have created music, and clearly the music was made in the past, so the article still stands as valid even if it was guys from SomethingAwful. Thanks for the information though.