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Real Ultimate Showdown Round 1

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Ultimate Showdown - Round 1 - Bracket[This round is over, go vote in the FINAL ROUND]

Many a rivalry is legendary. Pirates vs. Ninjas. Robots vs. Zombies. Werewolves vs. Unicorns. But which one of these groups is truly best?

joshx0rfz and I were talking about how the Muse video that was posted yesterday was all kinds of awesomeness, and discussed what else we’d like to see in it. Combine that with ChattyDM pointing me towards TV Tropes (and how it has ruined my life) and I’ve got to thinking about all those things we consider Awesome.

After much arguing about who our groups should be, we’ve come up with 16 matchups for you to vote on. The format is totally stolen somewhat borrowed from Comic Pants‘ Rumble Pants feature. It really is the best way to present these kinds of match ups. Today we’ve started with 16 matchups. The voting will last for one week, and end next Thursday at Midnight EST (for us late nighters, this means late Wednesday night.) Then we will see who advanced to the next set of matches, and so on, running for 5 weeks until we have an ultimate victor.

But I’m going a step further. This will be, in the two years since we opened, our first contest. To enter: comment on THIS POST with your ONE pick on who will take the entire title. First come, first serve for picks, which means there are only 32 entrants in the contest. Myself, Bartoneus, and joshx0rfz will not enter, but the contest is open to anyone else.

The GRAND PRIZE for picking the correct winner is a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate. (We will be checking the voting logs, so we can pick up if anyone is cheating or not.) At our discretion, we may also award other prizes (probably some posters) to those who pick someone who barely loses. Good luck!

It is important to note: you are not voting for who you logically think would win. (As if logic has any place in many of these.) You are voting in each match up on WHO YOU WOULD LIKE TO WIN.

And so… on to the match-ups!


[poll=17]

Samurai are the honor-bound ancient warriors who wield Katanas with deadly grace. Example: Zatoichi
Ninjas are stealthy assassins who have been purported to stab, fly, and flip-out. Example: Ryu Hayabusa

[poll=18]

Dragons are large (or Colossal, or Gargantuan…) lizards who fly, breathe fire, and possess innate magicks. Example: Smaug
Knights are warriors sworn to chivalric code in service of their lord, and wield magic swords with funny names. Examples: King Arthur, the Black Knight

[poll=19]

Cowboys are fast-drawing gun-shooting hard-drinking adventurers of the Old West. Example: Walker, Texas Ranger.
Indians are the warriors who live in harmony with nature in the Old West. Example: Tonto

[poll=20]

Vampires are blood-sucking undead who nonetheless possess a keen fashion sense. Example: Dracula
Werewolves are shaggy creatures of the full-moon, who possess a terrifying half-man half-wolf form. Example: The Wolf-Man

[poll=21]

Badasses have names like “Schwarzenegger” and “Stallone” and “McBain.” They might ostensibly be cops or soldiers or accountants, but really, they’re just ass-kickers. Example: Rambo
Terrorist Commie Nazi Businessmen are the ultimate evil, between trying to conquer the world, steal large sums of money, kill large numbers of people, and taking our your partner one day before retirement. Example: Hans Gruber

[poll=22]

Jedis are those who use the Force and fight with lightsabers. This includes both the Jedi Order and the Sith. Example: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Super-Soldiers are usually genetically engineered in the service of their government to fight threats that normal soldiers can’t handle. Example: Master Chief

[poll=23]

Hobos are those wandering souls who may not have a home but possess strange knowledge from their travels. Example: Boxcar Steve
Slashers are those serial killers who have become pure killing machines through some accident. Examples: Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kruger

[poll=24]

Robots are machines that can think and react and may look human, but inside are all metal. Examples: The Terminator, RoboCop
Dinosaurs once were the dominant life form on earth, coming in many shapes and sizes. They have occasionally attacked humans via time travel and amusement park. Examples: Raptors, T-Rex

[poll=32]

Pegasi are elegant horses with wings to soar over the battlefield. Example: The Pegasus from Hercules
Unicorns are magical defenders of goodness who smite evil with their horns. Example: Genghis Khan sighted one in India in the early 1200’s, so that one.

[poll=25]

Secret Agents are suave and sophisticated, performing complex infiltration missions and employing a variety of gadgets. Example: James Bond
Sinister Agents are those agents that are part of The System somehow and can ruin your life just using the power of bureaucracy. Examples: Mr. Smith, the Technocracy

[poll=26]

Demons are magical creatures from the underworld, here to tempt mortals into giving up their souls… or they just want to eat people. Example: Cacodemon
Wizards are those people who have mastered the magical arts. Many have beards, wands, and funny hats. Examples: Gandalf, Harry Potter

[poll=27]

Space Empire is any futuristic Empire that employs military might to keep order in the galaxy. Examples: The Federation, The Empire
Space Rebels are those who oppose a totalitarian system over the galaxy, and believe in freedom for all. Example: The Rebel Alliance

[poll=28]

Super-Scientists are those who push beyond conventional research methods to advance Science! to bold new heights. Example: Dr. Venture
Zombies: All they want to do is eat your brains. Example: T-Virus infected

[poll=29]

Cthulhu is the alien elder god that sits beneath the waves, not dead, but dreaming, who will eventually rise up and devour us all.
Pirates are the scourge of the seven seas, who sail for treasure so that they can bury it and buy new hook hands. Example: Captain Jack Sparrow

[poll=30]

Giant Animals are creatures who, whether it be through nuclear experiments or lost islands, are gigantic. Examples: Godzilla, King Kong
Giant Bugs are like Giant Animals, only they’re bugs. And thus more gross. Example: Mothra

[poll=31]

Aliens are acid-spitting egg-laying horrors from space.
Predators are well-equipped hunters from space.

LEGAL STUFF: Critical-Hits reserves the right to not award the prize or to award the prize to someone else if there is evidence of fraud or wrongdoing. Anyone with an email address is eligible to enter. No purchase required. Images were taken from various Google Image searches, and are copyright of their owner, and used under Fair Use without permission.

Comments

  6. Man, putting Pirates against Cthulhu makes this lopsided… but I’m going to say Pirates anyway. Pirates beat everyone.

  7. some suprising results so far… Scientists winning over zombies? wth?!

    and all you had to do was post a pic of ED209 and that one answered itself!

  8. Damn, it was almost worth starting Rumble Pants just to inspire this. 😉

    And that Muse video is indeed awesome to the power of X, where X *also* equals awesome.

    I’d say that Cthulhu is going to walk off with this one, but I think everyone knows that when there are hobos in the mix, anything could happen.

  9. As a reminder, you must pick ONE entrant to have a chance at winning the contest, and it cannot be one previously picked. So far the only three entrants picked are:
    Ben Logee for Predators
    Wurmfood for Pirates
    Randy Lander for Cthluhu

    Still plenty of picks left!

  13. But where are the Mexican Wrestlers??? How can this be a Real Ultimate Showdown without Mexican Wrestlers?

  15. Oh man I hope that Hobos make a come back against those damn Slashers…They sing, they dance, they STAB! HOBOS! (not a vote for them, since I can’t vote)

    Some of the really close ones right now:

    Dinosaurs – 17
    Robots – 22

    Demons – 18
    Wizards – 20

    Super Scientists – 19
    Zombies – 20

    Cthulhu – 19
    Pirates – 23

  19. No ones picked the Jedi yet?…wow…

    Jedi win…probably against the pirates in the final…

    Can I get an extra dollar on that certificate if I get ’em all?…

  20. Right now it’s a dead tie between Cthulhu and Pirates both with 30 votes!

    This seems like a great time to explain something Dave forgot to mention, if there is a straight out tie for any match come Midnight next Thursday, what will move on from Round 1 is a hybrid form of the two combatants! Examples: Cybernetic Dinosaurs, Super Scientist Zombies, or best and hopefully most likely of all! Pirate Cthulhu!!!

  26. So, about this hybrid thing…say ninja dragons combine and on some incredibly off chance (as pirates are far superior) the ninja dragons take the prize…who would get the $10 certificate?…

  27. I vote Unicorns because I’m girly and go go unicorns. And this is Josh writing and not Joyce although she is voting, Josh would NOT vote for unicorns even though they do stab.

    They protected against the stuff in the Harry Potter movie (quoting Joyce) the little black flying thingies.

  28. If, by some chance, a hybrid wins the prize, we’ll award multiple prizes, all of the same value.

    Mexican wrestlers were definitely an omission. Can’t get them all!

    And all you people need to be voting on my friends the Hobos!

  29. It’s really interesting to see how the close ones have shaped up from 40 votes up to 70:

    Dinosaurs – 32
    Robots – 38 (Still very close!)

    Demons – 26
    Wizards – 44 (You. Shall not. PASS!)

    Super Scientists – 41
    Zombies – 30
    (No where near as close, was 19-20, I hope Zombies catch back up!)

    Cthulhu – 39
    Pirates – 37
    (I can’t wait to see how this one turns out!)

  30. I really see this coming down to Jedi vs Preditors… and its gonna be one hell of a tough call to pick a winner out of those two.. but Im going with…

    Preditor.

    Close combat is NOT a jedis strong suit if taken by suprise.. we already have seen that.

  32. Predator was taken (very first comment), so if you want to enter the contest Mr. Foodist, you’ll have to pick something else.

    So far:
    Ben Logee- Predators
    Wurmfood- Pirates
    Randy Lander- Cthulhu
    Petri Purho- Knights
    Snowpaws- Dragons
    (Sorry, Bog97th, looks like you were a few minutes too late, but you can call something else)
    ChattyDM- Ninjas
    Denise- Werewolves
    Abe- Super-Scientists
    Reverend Mike- Jedi
    Joyce- Unicorns

  36. Just wanted to let everyone know that I updated the Bracket with people’s names next to what they’ve picked to win the whole she-bang! Any that don’t have a name next to them are still open game to be grabbed up by someone, and there are definitely quite a few power-players out there that are untouched!

  40. Jingle- Yes, hobos are who I’d like to see win the whole contest. I’d organize a mass protest and letter writing campaign, but I’m running this whole thing…

  41. Jingle…. are you implying that I have no taste?
    Coming from a designer, that hurts!!!!

    I’m just a lowly microbiologist!

    But then again:
    Ninjas FTW!!!!!

  44. I’m quite surprised they haven’t been taken, but I’ll take the Slashers as my official pick. Makes sense seeing how much I love horror flicks :).

  45. And as my arch-nemesis, you have picked the one against my favorite (but not official pick) the Hobos. There’s still time for them to lay out a bindle-stick of whopass on the Slashers.

  46. I’d love for the hobos to win…I definitely got a few friends and myself to vote for them…but it’s looking bleak…

    I mean, with the addition of Christian Bale, the Great American Psycho, hobos don’t stand a chance…

  47. Again, I must remind everyone: DINOSAURS. COME ON. Batteries die, power goes out, what NOW?!??! Their brains may be small, but their bite is hu-UGE!

  48. Lightsabers don’t run on batteries…and neither does the force…

    I could see Obi-wan taming a tyrannosaur and then riding it into combat fairly frighteningly…

  49. Rev. Mike: The Jedi aren’t up against Dinosaurs yet so that argument shouldn’t matter, unless you’re talking about a robot jedi…which is just creepy. and Awesome.

    I’m still hoping Dinosaurs and Hobos pull ahead, but we’ll see what happens.

  53. Not quite a robot…droids are robots…

    Even with as many cybernetics as General Grievous, he still had human (humanoid) parts and a consciousness…even if there was a way to transfer his conscious to a completely droid body, he’d still be human…

    That’s the line…

    My apologies for arguing so early on…

  54. Cartoon General Grievous was vastly superior to movie Grievous. It’s just disappointing.

    BOTH Pegasus vs. Unicorn and Cthulhu vs. Pirates are within 3 votes!

  58. Arrr…’tis be a sad day for y’arr scurvy seamen…

    S’pose I fancy to hold a good ol’ mutiny over at me beloved Anime Club…that’ll do plenty fine far sharrrrrr…

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