Articles by
Adventurers Anonymous
Storyteller is the author of the RPG blog Beneath the Screen, and a content developer for Nevermet Press. He is proud to be back at ChattyDM’s blog for the one-year anniversary of his first guest post ever on the blogosphere, which he wrote for ChattyDM last year. Without further ado, onward with the guest post!
“Hello. My name is K’taluk the Bloodthirsty. And I’m an Adventurer.”
“Hello K’taluk.”
“It’s been three months since my last dungeon delve.”
*Light Applause*
An often overlooked aspect of most fantasy roleplaying games – regardless of system and setting – is the true meaning behind the fact that the players are taking the role of Adventurers. That’s Adventurer, with a capital A – a proper noun like Doctor, or Hippopotamus Tamer – because it’s not just a character descriptor, it’s a profession. Adventuring is a way of life.
“Adventurer” is an umbrella term of course, under which many specialties lie (such as Paladin, Rogue, Arcane Hippopotamus Tamer, etc.), but regardless of what facet of adventuring you’ve chosen as your forte, there is no denying that you’ve made the life choice to become an Adventurer.
Every Adventurer worth their salt could tell you why they picked up the noble mantle of adventuring. Whether they were driven out of their home by tragedy, fueled by a desire for vengeance, hopeful for fame and fortune, or simply guided by wanderlust, there are hundreds of reasons your Average Joe might decide to cast off the shackles of a normal life in favor of venturing forth into lands dangerous and unknown. What many don’t understand is truly what it means to be an Adventurer.
Adventuring: It’s Not For Everyone
The two men emerged from the dense woods, entering a small clearing. Brandishing a broadsword carefully in front of him, Anthony the Blacksmith scanned the area quickly before sheathing his weapon.
“Looks safe,” he called back to Brenton.
The tailor lowered his bow and came up to join his companion. “How far did they say we had to go?”
“Not far,” replied the Smith. “They just said, ‘go wander around in the woods and sooner or later you’ll find some treasure.’ Darn adventurers always make it sound so easy, right Brent?”
The tailor gave no reply.
“Brent?” As the smith turned, his companion was gone, and an unsettling chorus of childlike giggles began to echo from the treetops above. Looking up, Anthony’s eyes went wide as he tried to wrestle his sword free of its scabbard. “BRENT?!”
The life of an Adventurer is a dangerous one. Common tales of adventuring follow the stories of the most powerful and successful heroes, while little thought is ever given to the hundreds of unfortunate souls who regularly leave their homes behind in search of a quick fortune only to fall in their first battle with Goblins.
The backbone behind the Adventurer profession is simple enough – with great risk comes great reward. By putting their lives on the line, and battling the evil creatures which plague the world, Adventurers stand to gain great fortune, skill, and glory. Taking on such dangerous foes however can be a deadly task. While wealthy and powerful Adventurers can even overcome death, young fledgling heroes put all of their metaphorical eggs into one adventuresome basket – making each new quest an all or nothing gamble.
For these reasons, Adventurers are few and far between, while most of the world is content to see old age – living a safe life at home.
So the interesting question becomes, what does the world think of Adventurers?
There are many ways a world may view Adventurers, from overlords to annoyances to even gods! A good way to inject something fresh into your campaign is to give this question some thought – what does this town/nation/world actually think of Adventurers? The prejudices and pre-conceived notions that people have about such a profession may add some interesting flavor to your next campaign.
Let’s look at some options…
A Dime A Dozen
“Let me guess, you’re another Adventurer right? Figured as much. Well, the basic healing wands and potions are over on that counter there, and the rest of my items are individually labeled with their appropriate pre-haggled prices based on this years Adventurers Guild Approved price guide. No, I cannot make special orders. No, I don’t have any local rumors. Yes, you break it you buy it. Now make your purchases and get out – there’s a line behind you.”
One option is to make Adventurers abundantly common. Maybe adventuring is simply the thing to do, or perhaps one community forces all children – upon reaching adulthood – to go and travel the world for a year before they can become adults. Whatever the reason, in this world, adventuring is commonplace, and the public at large knows how to deal with your kind.
In some ways, this can be great! Such a rebellious and impulsive lifestyle is not frowned upon, but neither is it exalted. Villages keep a hefty sum of gold kicking around in their coffers knowing that every week or so a party will roll into town looking to sell off their latest treasures.
Perhaps even city planners will argue over the “prime” settlement location nearest to a Dragon’s Lair – knowing that sooner or later the Dragon will be defeated and the city’s economy will boom from the victorious adventurers and their celebration.
This could also, however, be unfortunate for Adventurers.
When adventuresome sorts are indeed a dime a dozen, cities may shop around for the cheapest party of heroes to come to their aid. Why sacrifice some of the church’s tithes to raise a fallen hero from the dead, when another group is going to show up in town within the week?
When everyone’s a hero, no one really is.
There’s A First Time For Everything
“You’re going to do what exactly, foolish husband of mine? Go and fight the dragon? What are you daft? No one’s ever fought a dragon and lived. Hell, no one’s ever fought a dragon PERIOD! Why? Because they’re not crazy! Well, it seems like you’re set on this but you should be warned I’m planning on remarrying the second you leave town. This is one woman who’s not going to just wait around to be widowed on account of her husband’s ignorance!”
Everything’s got to start somewhere, even adventuring. Maybe you’ve always dreamed big, or maybe you just got really drunk at the tavern with your buddies one night and started spouting nonsense about battling the forces of evil. Maybe you’re actually crazy! Whatever the reason, the life of an Adventurer is calling to you, even though you don’t really know what that means.
It is much more common, when using this approach, to simply be the first of a cloistered community or village to set out in search of something better.
The idea of being the first Adventurers in the whole world however, is almost too good to pass up. (First pick of all the artifacts!)
Without the guidance of Adventurers past, through stories, lore, and clearly defined encyclopedias of monstrous creatures, you’re on your own. The foundation of the adventuring profession rests on your shoulders! You’re writing the myths as you go! How exciting… and deadly. With no one to fall back on for support, you really are on your own. Don’t expect any reinforcements coming over the hill – everyone pretty much thinks you’re insane (and they might be right).
The Stuff Of Legends
“An Adventurer?! My word, are you really? I – well, I’ve never actually seen an Adventurer before. I know you must have a busy schedule but, if you’re interested, my wife and I would love to have you over for dinner tonight. You can tell us of your accomplishments! Oh, and I don’t supposed I could have your autograph as well?”
When all a small secluded town has to go off of for entertainment are the tales and stories of great Adventurers, such visitors are not unlike celebrities, superheroes, and gods all rolled into one.
Perhaps they’ve never seen a real Adventurer, or if they have, they witnessed god-like feats of magic and skill. Simple-minded citizens with no knowledge of magic might quickly declare arcane and divine spells the miracles of demigods.
Whatever the reason, when Adventurers wander into this part of the world, they should expect to be hounded by fans, worshippers, followers, and likely a bachelor and bachelorette or two hoping to be betrothed to such legendary figures.
Some downsides of such fame are the complete lack of privacy the Adventurers may find, along with the annoyingly endless line of questions they may receive about their latest adventurers – both of which make it hard for such heroes to lay low and avoid detection by villains who may seek to make their famous lives short-lived.
In the end, whether it’s a tribal community that worship Adventurers as gods, or a city buzzing with diehard fans, it should give a healthy boost of ego to any traveling heroes who pass through.
Pain in the Assimar
“You think you’re better then me? Huh? You come into my tavern, slap a platinum down on the counter and ask for four rooms for the night. You son of a – You know, not all taverns are inns you egotistical little prick. Gods, why do I even the question the intelligence of someone like you. You were probably raised in a barn, or by wolves, or through some other unlikely infantile scenario that I don’t have the time or energy to decipher right now. Listen pal, I don’t care what childhood tragedy made you think it would be a good idea to go play judge, jury, and executioner out in the world – but this is my tavern, and the only executioner in it is me. Some of my best friends are goblins you jerk. Get the hell out of my bar.”
So… sometimes Adventurers aren’t exactly… welcome. Heroes set themselves on a pretty high pedestals and take some “freedoms” in their work – such as the power to kill monsters willy nilly in a dungeon – more often then not without checking with local law enforcement to make sure it’s ok.
Such actions do not always cast Adventurers in the most flattering of light, and the sheer amount of power, money, and influence heroes throw around can attract some pretty negative prejudices.
Some communities may dislike Adventurers out of greed. Many would take up the mantle of the Adventurer, but are either too weak or too cowardly to do so. It’s only natural that they would then project these insecurities on the very profession they could never take up themselves.
A sort of “how dare you do what I was too chicken to do” kind of thing.
On the other hand, some towns or cities may have been wronged by Adventurers or put into peril because of them – even if accidentally. If a dragon chases a party of heroes back to town, or a villain scorches half the village in search of them – a lot of innocent people may die because of the sheer presence of Adventurers, and that’s enough to make anyone upset.
Maybe when the Adventurers killed off the local tribe of oppressive Lizardmen, it stopped them from extracting “protection money” from the nearby town, but also stopped the protection – leaving the villagers open to even more dangerous threats. By upsetting the Ecosystem of Evil, Adventurers may be harming more then helping.
Think Happy Thoughts! Think Happy Thoughts!
“Oh Gods! Is that a spell component pouch?! AHHHHHHH!”
Power is a dangerous thing, and if there’s one group of people who have power, it’s Adventurers. Putting aside the wealth, fame, and attractive swimsuit models following you around, the one thing that separates Adventurers from commoners is power. This is no secret.
Adventurers have the potential firepower needed to level small countries with their magic, cleave through hundreds of foes, turn invisible, and call down the power of the gods themselves. To your average everyday seamstress or blacksmith – that can kind of be terrifying.
Thankfully, most Adventurers are the “good guys”, and fight the “good fight”. Most evil Adventurers gain the “Villain” title/bull’s-eye painted to their back, and are quickly flattened by the heroes. There are, however, some Adventurers out there living up those lovely shades of gray who don’t mind throwing a fireball or two if it means getting a discount on magic shoes.
Maybe a group of Adventurers founded a city and enjoy casting spooky illusions over the town square whenever taxes aren’t properly paid. Or maybe a rumor gets out that the detect thoughts spell exists, which in and of itself is terrifying.
Whatever the reasoning, it doesn’t take much for a society to go from being in awe of Adventurers, to being terrified of them. Knowing that folks in that profession essentially kill and pillage for a living is an unsettling thought – especially when they’re asking for a discount on the most valuable items in your shop, idly toying with the hilts of their weapons.
A Rose By Any Other Name
Whatever they may call you – Heroes, Adventurers, Hippopotamus Trainers Extraordinaire – remember well that it is a noble profession, not simply an abstract adjective. And so, noble thrill seekers, hoist your weapons high and ready your spells. The world may think you are gods to be worshiped or tyrants to be feared. You may sail high among other travelers, or walk the dark paths alone.
None can know for sure.
But be not ashamed of who you are, and think not on how the common folk of these lands may judge you. Raise your goblet high and shout, “Behold! I am an Adventurer!” For in these coming days of battle and victory, one thing shall be made clear to all of the laymen and neophytes of this world, and one thing alone!
That seriously, if they were worth the XP you would pwn the town before lunchtime.
Extreme Makeover: Tavern Edition
Howdy all, from your friendly neighborhood Storyteller. I’ll be your guest blogger this fine afternoon in Chatty DM’s continued absence. I’m a young’un when it comes to the RPG blogosphere though I’ve been a roleplayer since middleschool and help to run the RPG club (Adventurers Wanted) at my university. Trust me when I say, there is nothing quite as satisfying as convincing the student government to grant funding for core rulebooks to put in the library. Anyways, enough about me. Let’s get right to the topic at hand.
Taverns! Yes taverns, you heard me right. D&D’s most trite, overdone, and tired cliché. Taverns get a bad rap, and for good reason. Most DMs just avoid the things entirely unless one is written into the adventure they’re running.
With a tavern’s blatantly important NPC’s and obligatory shadowy corners, just the mention of such an establishment elicits groans from experienced and new players alike. This is, after all, Dungeons and Dragons – not Taverns and Gazebos.
So, how do we fix this problem? Taverns have always been a staple part of D&D and an aspect of the game that, I believe, is worth our time. There is hope! Let’s just take a gander at the five potential highlights of every tavern and determine how you as a DM can work to incorporate these into your next tavern adventure.
The Name
Simple right? [Insert Adjective Here][Insert Noun Here]. It’s as close to mad libs as D&D gets! Let’s see how talented a DM my good friend Mr. Word Generator can be.
Random Tavern Name #1: The Imaginative Wren
Random Tavern Name #2: The Unaware Daughter
Random Tavern Name #3: The Resting Mirror
Voila! Three great tavern names, right? A tavern by any other name would… smell as sweet I suppose? Nah, you can do better then that. I have faith. A tavern’s name can hold a lot of power if you’re trying to hold onto a player’s interest.
Contrary to popular belief, when opening a new place of business most people do not throw darts at a wall full of words in order to determine the company’s name. A tavern’s name should have a reason behind it! When you decide on the name for a tavern you’re already half of the way there in determining the establishment’s atmosphere, theme, and decorations!
While you’re in this brainstorming process, or looking at a tavern’s name for the first time in a published adventure, give some thought to what that name says about the tavern itself. A tavern’s name is the foundation upon which you can build an experience to remember. Make it count.
The Ambiance
If you give every room in a dungeon at least three to four sentences of your time in description, you can at least give a tavern’s common room the same effort! What does the sign outside look like? Who’s behind the bar? Are there balloons? When you start reading a description for the tavern the players just walked into, you’ll get their pavlovian reflexes kicking. At that point they’ll start paying attention for fear of falling through the pit trap directly inside the main entrance.
Obviously, you’re not going to want to map out every tavern ahead of time, but spicing up your tavern’s atmosphere is one of the best ways to get players interested. Even just having one or two things catch the attention of the characters is all you need to set the scene.
Remember, you can make your tavern as absurd and abnormal as you want. The stranger it is, the more entertaining your players may find it. Of course, there can always be too much of a good thing (a red dragon bartender for example). Trust me when I say, a little bit of “weird” goes a long way.
If you have the time, come up with some ideas of your own. If not, roll a d% twice on the Random Atmosphere Generator table below (reroll if you get the same result twice) for instant ambiance. The first roll distinguishes something interesting, while the second distinguishes something unique. Either way, these are some areas of interest that you might want to think about when introducing a tavern.
Random Atmosphere Generator
01-20% – Lighting
21-40% – Staff
41-60% – Decorations
61-80% – Music
81-100% – Clientele
Lighting: Interesting? Magical torches work well, or perhaps candles that float about an inch off every table. Unique? Firefly powered lanterns! Maybe a disco ball?
Staff: Interesting? Maybe a Satyr works the bar, or the waiters are lizardfolk. Unique? A team of twenty Iron-Chef style Kobold cooks and waiters. With top hats.
Decorations: Interesting? Tapestries or hunting trophies could work as a standby. Unique? Walls lined with mirrors, or even a fountain in the room’s center.
Music: Interesting? A self-playing lute, or music that seems to emanate from the tavern itself. Unique? A trio of animatronic Clockwork Constructs. Banjos included.
Clientele: Interesting? A pair of Hobgoblins enjoying tea or a peaceful Gnoll priest might make the characters do a double take. Unique? GNOMES! They’re everywhere!
The Food
So why are the characters really at the tavern? If they answer “to advance the plot” it’s because they’re full of lies, probably delusional, and have been up too late spouting vicious rumors about your mother. We all know that they’re really there for the alcohol. Oh, and maybe some food to.
When it comes to bringing food before your players, you have the opportunity to engage all of their senses at once. Does the food actually look like food? Is it burnt and crunchy, or does it melt like butter in their mouths? Does it taste bland, or have an overwhelming amount of spices? Does it smell like hell and taste like heaven? That’s all up to you!
If you have the time and initiative, type up a couple menus! Print them out on manuscript paper! Walk around your table with a towel over one arm while you hand them out! Or maybe at the mention of food, the Half-Orc waitress just drops a shovel-full of stew(?) into their bowls and it’s up for them to decide who takes the first bite. (Mmm… tastes like food poisoning!)
For a unique dining experience, you can give a tavern the same sort of themes that modern-day restaurants have. Maybe it has a salad bar, or a dessert cart! One dining adventure I recently sent my players on was to a tavern with a hibachi-style grill manned by a pair of Halflings.
The two cooks juggled knives between them as they steamed up fresh fish and vegetables – eventually catapulting the dishes across the room onto the player’s plates. Success of the launch was determined by whether or not a player could catch a piece of popcorn in their mouth as I hurled it at them. I had fun.
Speaking of popcorn all over the floor, this brings up another point. Use real food! For those of you out there skilled at cooking, it never hurts to actually give your players food as they order it in-game.
“Well, we have Mountaine Dew Ale, and a fine Pretzale Stixa Salad…”
This is a good way to keep the snack rations lasting throughout the whole session, not to mention a great way to get your players to actually look forward to their tavern visits. Always a plus.
Note: If you’re lacking vast quantities of food, I don’t suggest hoarding too much of the snacks for this purpose, lest your players gnaw their own hands off. But if you feel like baking cookies, or making milkshakes, these could function as fun tavern surprises.
As for the alcohol? Well, you’ve obviously got your ale, mead, rum, and anything else your players want to guzzle down (you can provide those at your gaming session too if you’re old enough and wild enough of course).
You can always get imaginative with wines as well, but nothing really beats the “House Special”. What is the House Special you may ask? Well, that’s for you to decide, but I highly suggest that drinking it involves a note being passed from the DM to a player. And of course, hilarity should ensue.
If all else fails, trust in the creativity of your players! Have a brewer in your party? (Or a Dwarf, since they’re all brewers, right?) Have the bartender ask for their help to finish off a new drink’s creation. Let them name it! Thus, the Scotch’n'Bacon was born in my campaign, and we’ve never looked back.
The Gimmick
Every tavern should have something to do at it besides sit in a corner and look shady (as a side note, one way to deter this behavior is to have a completely circular tavern, or even better, to have the only other person sitting in a corner to be dressed in pink – it works, trust me). With so many resources out there, how can you have a tavern without a game or two running!
From Wizards we’ve got Inn Fighting and Three Dragon Ante. From Pathfinder you could use any of those shiny new gambling games from the Gold Goblin (Pathfinder #13). Don’t have such resources? Wizards had a great series on the D&D website called Dice Games that you can check out for some simple gambling games to wrangle your players in.
If you don’t care as much for gambling games, there are many other ways to entertain your traveling adventurers. Have a Tarot reading if you can do such things, or a Pathfinder Harrow Reading (Pathfinder #7) if you feel so inclined.
Taverns can have any assortment of games and competitions set up for your amusement. Let the characters show off their abilities with arm wrestling matches, dart throwing, or even a sparring arena set up in the back! If all else fails, a good ‘ole match of pin-the-tail on the kobold works well (live kobolds suggested).
The Fight
Ah, the tavern brawl. The glorious end to all tavern adventures. Now, I’m not saying you have to give your players at least one tavern fight per campaign, but yes, yes you do. Tavern fights can occur for any number of reasons really.
“Wait. The Eladrin waitress is shacking up with the Tiefling bouncer?!”
“Yes, now roll initiative.”
Back in the days of 3.5, such encounters would be a headache to manage. If I may quote the Player’s Handbook for a moment…
“To determine the size category and appropriate damage for an improvised weapon, the DM should compare its relative size and damage potential to the weapon list to find a reasonable match.”
Yeah… some of us have a game to run. Sorry, but I’m not going over the weapon list to find a reasonable weapon match for a flying bowl of stew. And how does one comprehend the “damage potential” of a half empty (half full?) mug of ale?
Anyways, fourth edition has shiny new improvised weapons tables which apparently cover everything “from a rock to a chair”, so we’re good to go.
I was recently in a campaign where, during one tavern trip, my group may have engendered some hostility towards ourselves which ended with… shall we say… unfortunate consequences. The angered party, which may or may not have had multiple peas catapulted at their heads, rose to the challenge with an overturned table and a snarl on their faces.
We responded in kind as our barbarian snapped off a sizable table leg, I grabbed a handful more of peas, and our rogue readied some throwing forks (yes, Mystery Men jokes were made, I assure you). And what happened? Everyone in the tavern ran! They left us to our fates while the barkeep took a nosedive behind the counter.
I may not know much in this wild and crazy world, but I do know one thing. I don’t care if you’re a first level peasant or a tenth level paladin. If you live in the D&D universe and you go to spend some time at the local tavern, you are waiting for a fight! It’s like watching Nascar. Someone’s got to crash eventually!
When your players face off against the pack of drunken Dwarves who just called them lily-pickin’ lightweights, and they begin breaking bottles on the edge of the table just because it looks cool, this is the moment that everyone in the establishment has been waiting for.
If your players are patient – give it a moment. Let the silence fill the tavern for just a second, before the storm hits. War cries from the local butcher, bottles flying, crazed laughter from the town’s tax collector before a spinning plate catches him in the gut, tables toppling, maybe even a Halfling being thrown. This is what the tavern brawl is all about. There are no enemies or allies, just things to hit.
And if you have any love for me, please give the barkeep a heavy crossbow that cocks like a shotgun. C’mon, you know you want to!
Happy taverning!
