Critical Hits

The Journal of Gamer Culture

Review: Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab RPG Series Scents

OK, quick word association game: when you think of the words “D&D” and “scent”, what immediately comes to mind?

Probably not something pleasant. Luckily, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is trying to change that, or at least make that scent something more interesting than “Odeur de corporelle.” Seventeen vials of liquid character await, but are they worth the price? Will they get you laid?? This is dangerous reporting, folks.

The “RPG Series” includes 6 races, 6 classes, and 5 alignments – Good/Evil, and Chaotic, Neutral or Lawful. Intended to be blended together rather than be stand-alone perfumes, one should combine drops from 4 vials to create a character. Each vial sells for $17.50; though there is a no-return policy, you may purchase an “Imp Ear” of any of the RPG collection scents for $4.00, or 6 for $22.

PROS

  • Uniqueness/Customizability
  • Role-Playing enhancement
  • Ability to buy a trial size for a reduced price

CONS

  • High cost
  • Good roleplaying does not necessarily mean a sexy scent

First things first: despite what the locked cabinet at the drugstore may have lead you to believe, perfumes and scents are not meant to be gender-specific. Sure, there are smells that lend themselves toward “masculine” or “feminine”, but it’s really a matter of interpretation. In fact, I found myself pleasantly surprised by some scents; for instance, I expected “Lawful Good” (note there is no scent for human, your own brand suffices I suppose) and “Paladin” to smell unabashedly masculine, which would have sent me into a rant about sexism. Instead, I found the combination to be more subtle: Flowery, but somehow strong underneath. Indeed, this was not a scent that I could imagine a guy wearing out to attract women. Also worth noting is the subjective nature of both the nose and the bearer of the scent; these perfumes might not only smell different TO you, they might smell different ON you.

Here’s the main issue: if you want to wear something to spice up your D&D adventure, this is a perfect product. Each scent I tried rang true to the words the vials bore. Again, since the scents are meant to be combined, some of them are almost offensive on their own. “Good”, for instance, smells sickeningly sweet yet fits nicely into a number of combinations. But I doubt many among us are going to shell out $70 for a full set of perfumes that make one smell like a dank, moldy cave (I’m looking at you, “Chaotic Neutral Dwarf Fighter”!)

If you’re looking for something that smells a particular way, something that you’d use to attract mating partners, use your no doubt well-trained imagination. I found that most of the scents I expected to smell “nice” smelled nice. “Evil” smells dead sexy, period – no real shock there! Most of the races you would expect to smell…unique and character-filled…do. I thought “Neutral Orc Fighter” was a great role-playing scent – kind of like a truck-stop bathroom, though more on the side of the air freshener used within. Conversely, Elf is not the most masculine smell, though that can be tempered. A particular favorite was “Chaotic Evil Elf Rogue” – very sexy, springtime in the woods, but exotic and spicy. Certainly appropriate on man or woman.

The bottom line? It’s hard for me to give one. I really enjoyed mixing and matching day to day, but that’s really not an option unless you have a lot of cash hanging around – I’d be happy to help out anyone with that particular problem, by the way! The creativity and hard work that clearly went into these products certainly deserves partaking in a few sample sizes. Each individual scent is paired with a few descriptive words on the website to make your choices easier. Who knows? You may find something that is truly, uniquely you – or whoever you’d like to be.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab RPG scents are available now from their website. A free sample of their product was provided for purposes of this review.

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Critical Hits Podcast #30: Chris Sims and Mike Shea on Encounter Design

Mike Shea of Sly Flourish continues his interview series by talking to Chris Sims (author of many D&D products, as well as the Analysis Paralysis columnist) about designing encounters in D&D 4e. Learn about how a professional adventure writer comes up with his encounters (both for print and for his home game) and listen to two experienced DMs compare notes on effective encounters. Learn about how to handle such tricky situations as three way encounters, adding motivations to encounters to add more depth, and how to “cheat” to be ready for your players.

Encounter Design (63 minutes, 61MB)

[Download MP3 version | Podcast Feed | iTunes Link]

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Improvisational Safety Limits

I’ll be the first to admit I probably don’t plan enough when I need to run an adventure. I usually wait until one or two nights before game day, and try to come up with something that sounds cool. The problem I keep experiencing is that I start going down a nice sensible path with maps and plots and adversaries and then I’ll get a flash of inspiration that derails me completely.

In this particular case, since my group is currently wandering around on a demiplane that is quite literally where nightmares come from, I thought it would be interesting to simulate the nonsensical yet completely serious nature of dreams. You know, a situation in a dream where you know something is the case but you don’t know why. A frequent example of this in my dreams is  ”I’m on a mission to save the world”, but I’ve had it manifest in a thousand other ways. One I really dislike is when a bad guy shows up and I immediately know he’s after me because of Reason X. There’s no way to prevent having done whatever you did, no chance to plan ahead, just a half-second before he starts chasing you and your legs move too slowly to escape.

Paved With Good Intentions

What I decided to do was to have a certain kind of enemy attack change the PCs somehow in a nonsensical-dream way. This might mean their bodies would mutate or their role in the party would change, or even their backstory. I decided that, despite being more accurate to my dream experiences, the latter two would be much too disruptive to play. Therefore, the PCs would change in weird ways and have to learn to cope (and hopefully, find new ways to use these changes to their advantage). This was the concept that eventually derailed me. It sounded cool enough that I decided to play the whole thing by ear. Even I wouldn’t know what they’d be facing until the moment it happened. I thought I might be able to come up with ideas that fast, but I figured it would be a gameplay nightmare so I decided to make up a generic encounter with reskinned monsters in the roles I wanted my random baddies to play.

In the previous session, the PCs were approaching the tower of the Boogeyman, ready to go save the Raven Queen’s daughter from his evil clutches so they could hopefully get enough brownie points to get out of this godforsaken realm. I knew I wanted there to be some opposition, so I rolled for my brain to generate a random bad guy and got…. a giant loaf of pitch-black bread with bat wings. When I told the players, they all rolled their eyes and said “a BAT LOAF?” Even I didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t mean to do that. Regardless, I had the evil bread cut itself into a dozen or so 5′x5′ slices which it scattered about the battlefield. Then I had appropriately-sized pieces of dark, evil cheese fall from the sky onto the bread. Nothing too terrifying had happened yet, so I had evil lettuce (with menacing eye and mouth holes cut out of it) flap around the board to threaten the players.

I think it was about now that someone wondered if we were playing Burgertime. Ridiculous. There were no chefs.

WARNING! WARNING!

I had decided at this point that I wanted the bread slices to be a hazard rather than an enemy, and touching it would cause the mutations I mentioned above. I also decided the lettuce should get a special attack in which it enveloped a PC, with the intention of dropping it onto the bread the next round. None of my players knew any of this, of course, and to them the bread seemed the greatest threat. Once the bread started getting attacked, I decided to have the evil cheese bubble up and ooze dark yellow and eventually take the form of a dire boar (mostly because that was the template I’d chosen, and a cheese-boar sounded utterly ridiculous and therefore perfect). These did most of the direct combat of the encounter, and did a reasonably good job of distracting everyone from the lettuce scooping them up to get all mutated and stuff.

All this was going far better than I’d thought, and by that I mean nobody had hit me with anything heavy yet. When the first PC failed to break free of the lettuce and wound up mutating on a piece of evil toast, I realized I had far exceeded my ability to improvise. The first victim suddenly found himself with the hindquarters of a wooden wasp. I had been thinking about that one awhile, and I wanted him to have a cool ranged weapon. Then he attacked the bread with it, which I decided made it clamp shut like a beartrap (giving him another mutation). Now he had the body of a birdhouse, and I was struggling to figure out how that even worked much less how to use it. Another poor fellow found himself turned into a 6′ tall caltrop that smelled overwhelmingly of strawberries. I still let everyone use their equipment as normal, which yielded some rather interesting concept-drawings from the other players. The caltrop-PC did manage to improvise a means to use his new form to his advantage and immediately went to attack some lettuce – which promptly ruptured and died when it tried to envelop his now-pointy everything. Then our little gnome-assassin PC got changed, and I made him 7′ tall, swapped his arms and legs, and gave him mutton chop whiskers made out of fully functional ears. Yup, I don’t know where I was going with that one either.

The party’s mage is played by one of those players, bless his insane little heart, that just has to follow through on a crazy idea once he gets one. He decided to grab a big hunk of the dark-bread and eat it. I had his PC feel funny for a couple of rounds, and then he, shall we say, produced 4 tiny owlbears dressed as the Fruit of the Loom guys that followed them around for the rest of the night. Made sense at the time.

After all the sandwich-combat, the PCs found themselves in a wide open field separated from the object of their rescue-affections by only a large chasm. I changed everybody back to their original form and told everybody they knew they were a color but didn’t know why. I wanted them to all join hands and make a rainbow to get the girl across the chasm, which they all figured out somehow. The final encounter of the night was to be against the Boogeyman himself, and he showed up to confront the PCs, but several of our players needed to leave early so they made the session end on a cliffhanger instead of me for a change.

Reflections Upon The Aftermath

I’m definitely not going to file this adventure in the “success” basket. My players are usually pretty forgiving and can make a good time out of whatever I throw at them, but most of the night just plain didn’t make sense. I’m never leaving this much to be dynamically compiled by my brain at the last second ever again. I am not a Just-In-Time compiler.

I do, however, think that I could make this pretty cool if I had it all to do over. I think I was on the right track by making monster templates to apply a random skin to. I would even keep the randomness of the monsters and mutations I chose. I would simply do that part well in advance. This lets me come up with powers and abilities for both and gives me time to evaluate if they’re a good idea before I have 7 people giving me the deer-in-headlights look waiting to see what else is about to come out of my mouth. It’s not a new concept. Gamma World‘s alpha mutations do it all the time, the players still have no idea what to expect, and gameplay is at least somewhat sane. (It also makes me want to run a GW game just to see what happens!) I don’t know that I’d have to change everything as deeply as GW, but having a specific change and accompanying power (and card to give the player with the stats) ready for the player when it happens would have turned something weird and possibly stupid into something interesting they’d enjoy.

I really have to wonder what my poor players think of this campaign. I think everyone’s having fun, but I never played anything like what I’m putting these guys through (and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing!). I love thinking of different ways to handle things and testing my own limits, but I think perhaps I’ve gone a few shades too self-indulgent with this last session. It’s probably time to turn the crazy dial back down to a 3 or 4 for a little while.

Nah, they fight the Boogeyman himself next session. It’s time to bring out the big guns. But you can bet I’ll be loading them with planning-tipped ammunition.

 

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Review: “Masks: 1,000 NPCs for Any Roleplaying Game”

The guys over at Gnome Stew came out of the gate strong with their first publication Eureka: 501 Adventure Plots to Inspire Game Masters last year, presenting plenty of snippets designed to jump-start the process of adventure creation, with multiple genres available to fit any game setting.

It should be no surprise then that their sophomore publication not only holds up to the high standards of content, design, and variety, but in some ways surpasses. Masks: 1,000 NPCs for Any Roleplaying Game is what it says: 1,000 NPCs ready to be dropped into any game. While they don’t have any stats (like Eureka, the book is systemless), you’ll find each NPC has a full name, a brieft summary, a quote from the character, appearance, roleplaying advice, a description of personality, motivations, background, and a set of traits (that are shared across multiple entries.)

A full example of one of the 1,000 entries follows:

Professor Hilda von Tegelmanner
Double-Crossing Ghost
“Und so you see, the spirits they remain here, ja? Und they have something they must do, but that something might haf already been done, ja? So they are stuck in this loop of how-you-say, something-doing, ja?”
Appearance: Frumpy and plain-looking, she wears sensible but out-of-date clothes.
Roleplaying: Professor von Tegelmanner speaks in a strong accent, and tends towards long-winded lectures on tangential subjects.
Personality: Although very gregarious, she’s also quite nerdy and academic.
Motivation: She is bound to hire and betray adventurers.
Background: Hilda was a professor of the supernatural, specializing in hauntings and ghosts. Having grown bored simply theorizing on her subject of interest, she sought an avenue to its practical application. She settled on hiring adventuring parties from a nearby tavern to guide and protect her as she visited various purportedly haunted sites. She grew too bold after a number of successful trips, however, and acquired the services of con artists. They abandoned her deep within a haunted cave, taking her money and heading off to their next job. Hilda knew enough about hauntings to arrange her own afterlife as a ghost who would take vengeance on her betrayers. But after doing so, she herself was trapped in the cycle of betrayal and revenge, and has hired an endless stream of adventuring parties over the years only to bring them to their doom deep in the haunted cave. She is completely unaware of her metaphysical state.
Traits: (KS) Academic, eccentric, scholar

The book is divided into three genres that cover most RPG settings: fantasy, sci-fi, and modern, with each one further subdivided into villains, allies, and neutrals. Many of them are also adaptable across the different genres, or cross genres already like the germanic ghost listed above. The traits also cut across genres, so that if you need an academic, you’ll find a variety in each genre.

Along the bottom, you’ll also find a list of names, so flipping to any random page will give you a name for when you need it.

Now, the basic uses are pretty obvious. If you need a pre-made character to populate your adventure, whether it be an innkeeper, an employer, or an adversary, you can flip open the book and go to the appropriate section and find something that suits your fancy, with plenty of indexes to track down what you need. With this book, there’s literally a thousand characters at your fingertips to use for planning or if the PCs meet someone you didn’t plan (which as we know, is pretty likely.)

However, the unexpected value of Masks is that each NPC is packed with adventure ideas and plot twists. In this way, it supplements and in some ways exceeds Eureka in the raw amount of GM fuel it provides. Just looking at Professor von Tegelmanner gives me the impetus for an entire adventure, or a perfect supplement to take an ordinary plot (rescue someone) and use one of the Masks NPCs to add an extra level (their partron is a ghost who betrays adventurers) and you’ve added another dimension. You could probably even use the book to grab a few of the NPCs listed and use them to power an entire, interesting character-filled adventure with criss-crossing motives and nuanced quirks.

What I’m saying is that GMs out here need this book. You may be fine coming up with awesome NPCs on your own and don’t think you need something like this, and what I’m telling you is that this book is more than just a thousand characters, it’s a million stories.

Masks: 1,000 NPCs for Any Roleplaying Game opens for pre-order today. A review PDF was provided by the publisher for this review.

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Critical Bits for the week ending 2011-07-03

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