Elf Druid: I can’t let you skin that warg, I’m a druid after all.

Human Ranger: Wait, what’s your armor made out of?

First-
Player 1: Are you OK? (referring to player 2, who’s just been hit by a Fireball)

Player 2: (in a steadily rising voice) I’m VERY BADLY BURNED.

Second-
Player 1: “So, the plan is, we charge in and take them on.”
Player 2: “Yep, that’s the plan.”
Player 3: (wailing) “There is NO PLAN.”

“I’m freezing my purple worm off out here!”

Player: Is there any way I can smuggle this out?

DM: …you are naked, remember?

Player: Hmmm, that does kinda limit hiding place options.

-Star Wars-
Player (Playing a wookie): “Take a thermal detonator, shove it up his butt, and turn it on.”
GM: “In that order?”

Player1 (Pilot): “When are we getting the money?”
Jabba (in Hutese): “Does it look like I have pockets?”
Player 2 (Bounty Hunter): “Can’t you keep it in one of your fat rolls or something?”

-D&D-
Drul (our dumb barbarian): “Drul haven’t had ale this weak since Drul was nursing.”

Drul: “Drul not idol. But, Drul not turn away those who wish to worship.”

“Of course I have a suspicious mind, my roommate’s a GNOME ILLUSIONIST!”
-Ash (Halfling)

One of our players, a druid, was having great fun talking to animals in our sea-going game. He happened to overhear this:
School of small fish: “Ahhhh! Orca! Form a ball! Form a ball!”

That’s all I’ve got. If I win, the proceeds are going to 4e!!!

(You might try saying it out loud)

Troll fighter type: What are you doing?
Rogue friend: Shhh, I’m listening at the door.
Troll: Do you hear anything?
Rogue (annoyed): I hear a troll yapping.
Troll: What’s he saying?

D&D
The fighter at the front of the party opens the door, dashes in, slams the door shut and bars it (and the rest of the party out), draws his sword and spins around, shouting, “I’m here to kill you and take your money!” He was in the throne room of the goblin king, and we just barely managed to get through the door to keep him alive.

Star Wars
In a two-group campaign that swapped players and their characters, our group got a Wookiee tough and a Young Pilot-soon-to-be-Jedi. The Pilot introduced the Wookiee by his deeds: “This guy took out a baby Sarlaac all by himself!” (They found a zoo ship of sorts). My Quixotic Jedi (read: crazy guy who THINKS he’s a Jedi) quipped, in all seriousness, “The ability to destroy a baby Sarlaac is insignificant next tot he power of the Force.” Both groups broke out laughing for about a good five minutes. Still my best personal quote ever.

Oh and Tommi, I’m with you there on the translating of quotes. I went with stories because the quotes I had in mind lost all their charm from when moved from French to English.

“I taste like chicken”.

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“Critical strike… oh fuck it is wearing pants.”

“Why does the room sound a bit poor?”
“It is not poor. It just doesn’t have walls.”

“What do we do with the city?”

“Okay, maybe I’ll leave my head there.” (IIRC, discussing the details of a young dragon peeking around a corner.)

A dwarf NPC is cooking something. “Now this should be something that doesn’t kill right away.”

About different kinds of jedis: “The first are prophets, the second control their bodies and the third are Xenas.”

Also: Translating quotes is difficult.

Tommi’s last post: Process of play

DM : you hear a click
me (thief) : i throw myself on the floor !
DM : hum.. the spiked floor pierces you, Arkanis dies..
me : ARG !

I went into the other room, and started cooking. I didn’t tell the other players what I was cooking, only passed a note to the DM (who immediately started laughing).

I came back into the room (the bugbear had since been removed), and poured a sauce over the feet of the bandit.

Bandit – What the hell is that for??
Me – To convince you to talk.
Bandit – How is that going to work?
Me – By convincing the bugbear to eat.
Bandit – Huh??
Me – Honey-mouse sauce.

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